The 502 Stories
by AmboDriver
Summary: Complete! This is a series of scenes at the apartment that falls between the American Bakeoff scene and Arizona going back to work (and perhaps after that). This is my chance to play with all the good (and some painful) stuff that had to happen to move them that far forward.
1. Chapter 1 - Couch Détente

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** So, if you're like me, you adored episode 09x07 "I Was Made for Lovin' You" but you also felt like there were a ton of scenes that were missing between the last time we really saw them together watching TV and then them being suddenly all happy and showing it again. Since I need some happy/hopeful stuff to write, here are a ton of little tiny scenes (I think right now I have a list of over 30) that fill in that time period that I would have loved to see. They all take place at the apartment (hence the series name) and they may even go after episode 7, who knows. I'm not going to stress over them too much so that I can put out a few a week, hopefully. Some will be super short (like this one) and some will be longer, but each will be just one scene from one point of view.

And also hoping these will help fuel my writing juices for my longer, more serious pieces (not that there won't be serious scenes in this, but I don't need to really develop a plot now that I have my list and the order).

So, hope you'll enjoy it.

And thanks to Lovegood41 for helping me compile the scene list and, as always, both watching the show live via text with me (it's always a good snarkfest for non-Calzona scenes) and egging me on in all my ideas for fic. Occasionally our desire for the dark is overridden by our love of happy Calzona.

* * *

Chapter 1 – Couch Détente

Arizona turned off the sound on the TV, but continued to stare at the commercials that followed the end of American Bakeoff. She didn't want to turn off the TV entirely, because to be frank, she didn't want this quiet bubble they found themselves safely in to burst. But as they both sat in the heavy silence of their living room, she also felt herself growing restless at the tension that was still between them. "Today went pretty well," she finally offered quietly.

Callie turned toward her, brown eyes wide in obvious surprise. "I'm so happy to hear that," she said, although her voice and face looked like she was waiting to be slapped for the sentiment. Still, she took a deep breath and started to ask, "Do you, well…" But then she trailed off as her eyes fell to her lap, trepidation shadowing her face.

"We need to work on the socket fit, of course," Arizona said by way of trying to answer whatever it was that Callie had been hoping to ask. "And I stood on the trial prosthesis. I go in tomorrow for better measurements, so—" She stopped, not really having the strength to talk about it anymore. It had been a good day in some respects, but sad all the same. There was something incredibly final to seeing yourself standing on a leg made of metal and plastic, after all. And yet, just the tiniest bit of hope had filled her at the sight, too. But still, it wasn't something she was really ready to talk about with Callie in any depth. Her wife knew the process, having seen enough patients through it herself in her career. She didn't need Arizona going through the details to know everything that still was ahead. Arizona finally sighed to fill the silence. "I stood," she repeated quietly, needing both to remind herself that she'd accomplished something important and to let Callie in just the tiniest of bits.

Callie's smile was certainly genuine, but mirrored Arizona's from earlier as she looked into the mirror at the hospital with David. There was pain around the edges of her lips and a certain sadness in her brown eyes, but also real happiness, too. "It's a big step and just the beginning."

Arizona nodded but didn't respond at first. She supposed the fact she didn't jump on Callie for being supportive or using one of those damned turns of phrase that referenced walking was a huge deal in some respects. Just a few days prior, hell even a few hours earlier before Karev reminded her that Callie was going through hell too, she would have snapped at her and ended the conversation. But now, she let it just pass over her without any reaction and, in a way, that felt good.

She held Callie's gaze for a moment, though, really seeing her wife for probably the first time since the amputation. But then she had to look away as the swirl of emotions in her eyes was too much. She clicked the power button on the TV and let out a quiet breath. "I'm tired," she muttered as she grabbed her crutches.

"Me, too," Callie answered as she got up from the couch. She hovered nearby in that way that Arizona recognized where she was trying to seem like she wasn't hovering, but wasn't doing the best job of it. But once Arizona was steady on her crutches, Callie smiled and started to back away. "Good night, Arizona."

"Good night," Arizona answered automatically. Callie's smile held for a moment but then slipped away as she started to turn toward the front door. "Callie?"

"Yeah?" Callie turned back a little too quickly to feign a casual response. The faint hint of hope in her eyes tore at Arizona's heart.

"Sleep well," Arizona barely whispered as her voice threatened to catch in her throat.

"You too, Arizona."

And then Callie hurried out of the apartment before anything more could be said. It was only when she subconsciously wiped the tear on her cheek away, that Arizona realized how much she hated what her life—their lives—had become. It wasn't so much the physical change, although that was of course both huge and the catalyst, but it was emotionally how they were both reacting. But sadly, she just wasn't sure how to fix it.

She sighed as she looked at the door of their apartment, wondering for the first time if Callie cried herself to sleep at night or slept peacefully at all. The constant shadows under eyes led Arizona to believe it was the former and she frowned at the thought.

"Sweet dreams," she finally whispered—to Callie, to herself, she wasn't really sure—before turning toward the bedroom and another night alone.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2 - At Last

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** So glad so many of you are following this and are enjoying it, so far. If you have a scene you'd like to see, PM me your idea. It's very likely already on my list, but maybe Lovegood41 and I forgot something. We almost forgot a biggie until I realized it was missing, so it's very possible.

Oh and for those of you waiting for the next chapter of No Matter of Chance, I promise I'm working on it every day (even if all I write is one paragraph), but there's a very good reason I don't write many sex scenes. They take me FOREVER!

* * *

**Chapter 2 – At Last**

_At last,_

_My love has come along_

_My lonely days are over_

_And life is like a song._

Callie's eyes popped open as she fumbled for her phone at the sound of Etta James interrupting her sleep. Her heart began to race as her mind realized it was her ringtone for Arizona that had awakened her. These days Arizona never called unless it was an emergency. "What's wrong?" she said as the phone was barely near her ear.

"Don't you have to work today?"

"Huh?" Callie pulled the phone from her ear to see the time. It was already 7:35. She was supposed to be up an hour earlier. "Oh shit, yeah. Thanks for waking me."

"Sure," Arizona said curtly right before the phone went dead.

Callie frowned for a moment before shaking her head and letting it pass. She then started to get up from Mark's couch—where she slept every night because she couldn't handle the thought of sleeping in her dead best friend's bed—but her feet got tangled in the blanket and she cursed loudly as she fell in a jumbled heap, her knee crashing painfully into the corner of the coffee table. "Ow," she hissed out through clenched teeth as she finally extricated herself from the bedding and slid her feet into her slippers.

She quickly went across the hall, first locking Mark's apartment and then fumbling with her keys to open her own apartment door. When she came inside, she found Arizona standing in the kitchen, propped on one crutch as she stirred a coffee mug with her free hand. "Good morning," Callie said, refusing to give in to the general tension that always surrounded them of late. She wanted their lives to return to as normal as possible and so she risked a cold reply or even a burst of anger from her wife by greeting Arizona just as she normally would. "Thanks again for waking me up," she said as she started to look through the contacts on her phone so she could call the hospital and have her first surgery pushed back an hour.

"Morning," Arizona answered a little flatly. She then put the coffee mug on the breakfast bar. "I made you some coffee. If you get Sofia into her highchair, I'll feed her while you get dressed." There was a long pause and a pained expression came to Arizona's face. "What's she eating nowadays?"

Callie stopped and just stared at Arizona in shock. She had probably just said more civil words in the last few seconds than she had in the last month. "Um, well, yeah," Callie finally started to stutter out as she looked at the door to Sofia's room before looking back at her wife, who was starting to look a little impatient. "Cheerios and some fruit. I usually just cut up a third of a banana and a few strawberries. Just put it on her tray and make sure she doesn't make too much of a mess. And a sippy cup of milk of course."

Arizona's eyes dropped as she nodded. "I can manage that," she whispered so softly Callie wasn't even sure she really heard it.

"Thanks," Callie said as she went in to Sofia's room to get their daughter up, not wanting to lengthen the awkward tension that was starting to bubble up between them again by staying in the kitchen any longer. She smiled broadly as deep brown eyes poked out from under the sleepy mop of hair as Sofia stood in her crib, her little fists tightly wrapped around the bars to keep her upright. "Good morning, baby girl. Did you sleep well?"

Sofia bounced on her legs and laughed lightly. Callie had to join the laughter momentarily as she went over and picked Sofia up into her arms. She gave her a noisy kiss on her cheek and then took a deep breath of that clean smell that she seemed to have even first thing in the morning. Well, until she got a whiff of the dirty diaper Sofia was sporting. "Ugh, let's get you changed real quick and then Mama's going to help you with breakfast, okay?"

Sofia looked over at her with big eyes that must have mirrored Callie's when Arizona originally offered to help with the morning routine. "Yeah, trust me, I was surprised, too. But this is a good thing, right? It's a big step. And I know you've really been missing her." She leaned in to whisper in Sofia's ear. "So, be your usual adorable self and help pull her back to her old self, okay? There's no way she can really resist you for long if you put on the charm."

Callie quickly changed Sofia's diaper and put her in something suitable for daycare but that wouldn't be too ruined if Arizona wasn't able to keep Sofia from making a total mess of herself. As she brought Sofia over to her highchair, she smiled at Arizona, who was seated on a stool next to it. "She had a really disgusting diaper this morning," Callie said absently as she placed Sofia into the plastic seat and buckled her in. She then turned to reach for the bib, but found Arizona already leaning in to put it around Sofia's neck. "Okay, holler if you need anything."

There was tension in Arizona's voice when she said, "I can handle this, Callie."

"I know you can. I wasn't…" Callie trailed off with a sigh. It always seemed like she couldn't say the right thing these days. She wanted to say something to try to smooth things over, but instead just nodded to Arizona as she got up, grabbing the coffee Arizona had made for her, and went into their room to get ready for work.

After first calling the hospital to let the ortho department know she would be late, she quickly showered and got dressed for work. She took a few moments to blow dry the worst of the moisture out of her hair and put on a minimum of makeup before coming out and putting on her shoes. Finally, she started to walk out of the room that no longer really felt like she belonged in it, but she came to a stop in the doorway.

Arizona was leaning forward toward Sofia, tickling her cheeks and smiling as their daughter laughed. Arizona's eyes twinkled and both of her dimples stood out in surprising relief. It was a breathtaking sight and one that Callie thought she might never see again. But in that moment, as Arizona was unguarded with Sofia, Callie finally saw the Arizona of old. This wasn't bitter Arizona or hurt Arizona. This was happy and relaxed Arizona, the adoring mother of their daughter. She had missed her so much that it brought tears to Callie's eyes.

When blue eyes rose to meet her own, there was an instant change to Arizona's demeanor. She tensed and the smile quickly faded to a stony façade. "What?" she asked, a little harsher than her earlier words.

"Nothing," Callie said as she quickly rushed past Arizona and Sofia into the nursery to gather her daughter's items for the day. When she came back out again, Arizona was wiping Sofia's face with a soft cloth.

"She ate her whole breakfast and I've got her all cleaned up," Arizona said quietly.

"Thanks," Callie said as she held Arizona's gaze for a moment, seeing her wife relax just a little. "She's missed you," she risked adding.

Arizona's eyes fell and a little color of embarrassment came to her cheeks. "I know. I'll help out with her more. As much as I can."

Callie smiled brightly. "She'll love that." She came over and picked Sofia up, hesitating for a moment in discomfort as she didn't know how to act in this situation.

Luckily Arizona broke the tension as she reached out toward Sofia. Callie obliged by bringing her over so Arizona could place a gentle kiss on her chubby cheek. "See you tonight, Sofia," Arizona said, the affection clear in her tone of voice. Blue eyes then flashed up to Callie. "You too."

"See you then." Callie quickly gathered her purse and jacket and hurried out of the apartment, afraid to press anything else into their interaction for fear of losing the little hint of hope she felt after what she had just witnessed.

Once out in the hallway, she leaned back against the wall next to their front door and looked down at Sofia. She gave her daughter a noisy kiss on her cheek. She then looked at the closed apartment door and smiled brightly. "You got her to smile, didn't you? You were great, big girl. Really, really great."

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3 - A Little Less Fight

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Loving all your replies. Thanks so much guys. It really means a ton to me.

They're making baby steps here…I kind of figure each scene is on a new day, although there may be a day or two in between. But mostly they're happening pretty close to one another.

I know I have 3 stories going, including a really important Chance chapter (and I promise I'm working on it every day and am making some real progress), but this is all I've managed to polish enough to publish. I'm in a crazy class for this certification test I have to pass by the end of the year (or lose my job), so that has to be a huge priority right now. But, with any luck I'll have Chance up by early next week at the latest. That's my plan at least, but you know how those go.

Okay, now back to those baby steps…

* * *

**Chapter 3 – A Little Less Fight**

Arizona tapped the tines of her fork absently against her plate. Dinner had been another case of the two of them seated in front of TV trays, a heavy silence hovering between them. They'd made a few small steps toward one another and Arizona was feeling the steady weight of anger and resentment start to ebb, if only a little. But it was still a constant internal war between her logical appraisal of everything and the emotions that bubbled up unbidden at the smallest provocation. In her head she knew Callie had made the right decision to amputate her leg, but in her heart she hated everything and everyone involved in the twist of fate that had ripped not only her leg from her, but her identity and the life she had built.

Nothing in Arizona's life seemed to make any sense anymore. But all she knew was she had to start moving forward. She couldn't spend the rest of her life in that damned bed pushing everyone away. Even if that meant only acting as if things were getting better and hoping that reality would follow, she knew she had to make the effort. Starting to work with David was a huge step—both literal and figurative—and so were her increased interactions with Sofia. But moving forward with Callie was harder and she wasn't sure how to overcome everything and start to heal their relationship or even if it could be done at all.

She risked a quick glance at her wife and noticed her pushing her dinner around on her plate, a frown pulling at her full lips. She looked distraught and miserable and Arizona felt guilty for pulling Callie down with her. _Just talk to her._ It would be a start.

Arizona swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I think David finally got my socket set up properly."

Brown eyes shot up in surprise and hope but almost instantly clouded over. Where Callie had been so full of light before the crash, everything—and Arizona knew it was mostly her own fault—had turned that light to dark. And yet she was still there, day in and day out, slogging through the pain and the disappointment as every moment passed them by without much improvement. Instead, she now just seemed resigned to it all as she forced a sad smile. "That's good. It'll make rehab so much easier to have a good fit."

Arizona forced a smile in return, likely appearing even sadder than Callie's had, and yet it was answered by a more genuine one from her wife. It was amazing how just that little effort on Arizona's part seemed to brighten Callie's face. Maybe she wasn't so resigned to their fate after all. "Yeah, and the custom prosthetic will be in tomorrow so we can really get working on it all. The stock one has the knee joint a little too high up, so it's off kilter." She swallowed hard, trying to push down all the confusing feelings that went with her rehab—the hope mixed with pain at the fact that this was her life now until the day she died. Instead she focused on how she wanted to feel about it. "David said I should be walking with a cane pretty soon."

A twinkle flashed through Callie's eyes for a moment before she seemed to consciously dampen her thoughts. "Have you thought about going back to work? Once you can walk, you could at least go back and do some consults until you're comfortable enough to stand for a while."

Arizona shook her head instantly. "No, I'm not ready," she said in a whisper, more to herself than to Callie. When it looked like Callie was about to argue, she shook her head more forcefully. "I'm not ready for anyone to see me. I'm…" She trailed off, not wanting to say what she felt. _I'm ashamed of who I've become._

But Callie was like a dog with a bone all of a sudden. "Arizona, you can't just spend forever in this apartment. You need to get back to your life," she argued.

"I don't have to do shit," Arizona bit back as she tossed her fork down loudly on her plate. The reaction on Callie's face, as if she had been slapped, stopped Arizona in her tracks and she let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered as she looked down at her dinner plate.

"No, I'm sorry," Callie said.

"For what?"

Callie swallowed visibly and looked up at the ceiling in that way she had when she was trying to gather her emotions. Then she took a deep breath and lowered her gaze to meet Arizona's. "I'm sorry I made the wrong decision. That's what you want me to say, right?"

"It—" Arizona stopped before she could say something out of reflex and took a moment to really think about her answer. All too often she had let her reactions come without thought, without concern for consequences, and it had hurt them both so greatly. Now, she knew she needed to truly think about her answer and say the truth and not just what would hurt Callie the most. The time for revenge was over. "My head knows you made the right decision," she began, pausing as she took in Callie's astonished reaction. "But my heart isn't ready to accept that. Far from it. Can you understand that?"

It seemed to take forever before Callie finally nodded reluctantly. "How do we get your heart to believe that, too?"

Arizona felt tears suddenly stinging at her eyes thanks to the desperation in Callie's voice. "I don't know."

Callie nodded as she stood from the couch, picking up her dishes and then silently coming over to get Arizona's. She went into the kitchen, rinsed them off, and then loaded them into the dishwasher. Once it was running she glanced at the nursery before looking back at Arizona. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine." It was their routine most nights, these tense pleasantries.

"Okay, I'll have the monitor on if Sofia needs anything," Callie said as she picked up her keys from the counter and started toward the front door on her way to Mark's for the night.

"Callie?"

"Yeah?"

This time there wasn't a cooking show to get her wife to stay, and really she wasn't ready to just outright ask, but she wanted to try to mend fences where she could. "I'll make an appointment with psych tomorrow. Maybe a little outside advice will help me find a way."

Callie's smile was genuine this time. "That's a great idea. It'll help." She stopped and shifted her weight awkwardly, her mouth moving as if she was about to say something, but then she just let out a deep breath and nodded. "Good night."

"Good night, Callie."

When the door shut and she was alone in the living room, Arizona's eyes drifted down to her left leg under the blanket. She pulled it back so she could look at what was left of it as it poked out of the shorts she was wearing. She tried to smile, but it wouldn't come. As much as she knew she was alive because of the amputation—and she was glad to be alive—she still just couldn't accept it. It was just all too painful and horrible. "But I will," she whispered, making a promise to herself.

And to her family.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4 - Mirror, Mirror

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Some more baby steps toward healing their relationship. I'm such a Sofia fan and know she had to play a big role in all that healing that happened off screen.

Thanks again for all the positive reviews. They really keep me enthused to write, and now I have the time, so I'm hoping I'll get some more stuff out quickly.

If you ever want to know what I'm working on (and planning next), check my profile. I'll try to keep my writing schedule there up to date.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Mirror, Mirror**

Callie walked into the apartment with Sofia perched on one hip and looked around to find the living area empty. "Arizona?"

There was no reply but as Callie dropped her purse and put her keys down on the small table in the entranceway, she noticed her wife's keys already there. "Arizona, where are you?"

"Bedroom," she finally replied.

There was something very hesitant in her tone, so Callie went over to the playpen in the living room and dropped Sofia off before looking toward their bedroom. "Can I come back?"

There was another pause before Arizona replied. "Um, I guess."

Callie's brow furrowed as she walked through the living room and back to their bedroom door. As she entered, however, she came to a sudden stop, her eyes going wide in surprise. Arizona was standing in front of the full-length mirror in a t-shirt and shorts with her brand new prosthetic on—the prosthetic that she hadn't let Callie see yet. Callie's heart quickened as a flood of emotions went through her—sadness, pain, hope, pride. This was Arizona moving forward and yet it was so alien to see her wife with all that metal and plastic protruding from what remained of her left leg. It was a harsh reminder of their reality now. "Um, hi," she finally managed to get out past the lump in her throat.

Blue eyes met hers in the reflection of the mirror. "It came in today so I could finally bring it home." Arizona then sighed as her eyes fell. "It's ugly, I know."

"What?" Callie's legs brought her almost to Arizona before she could think better of it. She stopped just before she could reach out to her wife, wanting so much to try and reassure her. "It's not ugly. It's a tool; it's your mobility, your life." She hated that Arizona couldn't see that yet, not really. No matter how many times Callie tried to reassure Arizona, it was like she could process it in her head but it never really sunk in to a point where she believed it.

Arizona shook her head. "I'm going to be a freak the rest of my life. People will see me and stare."

Where once Callie would have responded by reminding her wife that people stared at her because she was beautiful, she was sure Arizona wouldn't appreciate that light tactic right then. So, instead she stepped forward the last foot until she was just behind Arizona and off to the side. She wanted to be able to catch those blue eyes, to really see into them, and the mirror was the perfect prism for communication. There was a distance there that they both needed and yet they could have that connection with each other that Callie wanted to have so desperately. "You are not a freak, Arizona. You are someone who is surviving and if people stare at you, it's because they'll see that."

Arizona's laughter was a dry puff before it disappeared. "You think my patients will think that? They'll just think I'm the freak with the peg leg."

Callie's hand grabbed Arizona's upper arm before she could consciously stop herself. When Arizona jumped at the contact, Callie started to pull away, until she realized that she needed to shock Arizona, needed her to really listen to her. "When you have a patient who loses a limb, do you call them a freak? Do you?"

Arizona's eyes fell. "No."

"What do you tell them?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. "I tell them it's awesome and that their friends will think it's the coolest thing ever that they have a prosthetic. That it'll be like having a super arm or leg. But it's not the same."

"It is. You don't think it's awesome that you survived a plane crash? You don't think it's awesome that you get to watch your daughter grow up? That you get to have the chance to save so many more lives?" _That we'll get to grow old together? _Callie just wished Arizona would see it, all of it. She risked putting both of her hands on Arizona's shoulders and was relieved when her wife didn't flinch this time. When she spoke, her voice was softer and full of empathy. "I know this is hard and scary. And I know that it just sucks completely and you know I wish this hadn't happened, but it did. So now your choices are to move forward or not. This is moving forward."

"But—"

"No buts, Arizona. You're an adult. A few people looking at you or whispering behind your back shouldn't bother you. If someone calls you a freak then they're an idiot." Callie let out an exasperated sigh. "Do you feel like a freak when we're out in public and some homophobe stares at us or makes a nasty comment? Do you?"

Arizona closed her eyes as her head fell. "No," she whispered.

"This is the same thing. Yes, you're different now from most people. But I guarantee you that most people that will stare will be doing so because they'll be interested in seeing how this strong, beautiful woman is overcoming a disability, and not because they think you're a freak." Callie pushed at Arizona's shoulders so that her wife's eyes popped open and met hers in the mirror. "Besides, once you get the hang of it, the only time people will really notice is if you aren't in pants. Otherwise people will think you've got a little limp if that. Some amputees can walk without it being all that noticeable. You'll get better with practice."

"I'm afraid it will scare Sofia," Arizona finally admitted softly.

While Callie knew this was Arizona trying to avoid the previous subject, at least she brought up something else that was a legitimate concern instead of going completely off topic. This was important to talk about, to face. These fears were eating away at Arizona and hampering her recovery, and she needed to get them out and face them. "Maybe a little at first. This is new and she and I are both going to have to get used to seeing you like this, just like we did after the amputation. I know at first I probably stared a lot, because I was just trying to get this new picture of you into my head, to get used to it, because I had to." She was sure that was something Arizona had noticed over the previous weeks, but she hoped that her wife had also noticed that as she _had_ gotten used to it. Callie really did pay less attention to her leg and more attention to Arizona now because it wasn't so new and jarring anymore. New things just took time to get accustomed to.

"I don't want her to be afraid of me," Arizona repeated, her voice even softer this time.

It tore at Callie's heart and yet she needed to help her wife through this. Things were still so hard between them, but now that they were able to finally have conversations and to be comfortable in the same space for more than a minute, she knew she could support her wife again. That was all she had wanted from the moment she heard Arizona was alive. "I'm not sure we can predict how she'll react or do anything to make her not be afraid if that is how she is going to react. But I think the best idea is to expose her to the leg. Let her see it as much as possible, let her touch it. That way she'll see that it's nothing to be scared of. And who knows, maybe she'll just see it and not even think anything of it. Kids can be pretty resilient."

"Maybe." Arizona didn't sound so convinced.

"Why don't we give it a try? Can you walk on it with the crutches yet?"

"A little." Arizona motioned with her head to where the two crutches were perched against her dresser. Callie reached over and gave them to her and waited patiently while her wife put them under her arms. "I guess she has to see it sooner or later, right?"

"Exactly."

Arizona nodded and gave a little brave smile. "You might want to stand back in case I fall. No sense in taking you out, too."

"Arizona?" Callie started to move her hand to the small of Arizona's back but instead moved it to her upper back. She could feel the muscles shift under her hand as she waited for Arizona to look up so their eyes could meet in the mirror again. Before they went out to Sofia, she wanted to take this change to say what she had held in side for so long while they were in this good place. "I know things are still really rough between us, but I just want to say something and I don't expect a response." The blue eyes went wide in a little fear and that ripped at Callie's heart, but she needed to press forward. "I am so proud of you. I know how hard this has been and, even when things were at their darkest, I never stopped loving you. In fact, I love you more and more every day."

Arizona's eyes teared up and the edge of her lips rose in a sad smile. She nodded and whispered, "Thanks."

"Okay," Callie said, pushing the disappointment away that Arizona hadn't returned the sentiment. She knew deep down Arizona still loved her. She would have left long ago if she didn't. It was just hard for her right now to deal with the mix of emotions she was feeling, and getting through the anger and the pain had to come first before she could get back to being able to express that love. Callie smiled, nodded and stepped back, trying to stay close enough to catch Arizona if she wavered, but staying far enough away that Arizona had room to maneuver.

She watched as Arizona carefully turned around, using the crutches and her right leg to hop until she was facing the door. "Who knew just moving around this little bit could be so exhausting," she said as she blew a wisp of hair out of her face.

"That I can truly understand. After the crash everything was exhausting. But you'll get your stamina back. It just takes time."

"Everything about my life will just take time," she said. She seemed like she was going to say something else, but instead she just shook her head slightly and started to work her way out into the living room.

Every step with the prosthesis was so unsure that it frustrated Callie and she could only imagine how much it was driving Arizona up a wall that she couldn't move faster or more certainly. But she still managed to make it out of their bedroom and to the nearest couch before falling heavily onto the seat. Callie waited until she was seated before she shot a look over toward Sofia, who was in the playpen by the other couch completely engrossed in her stuffed monkey. "You ready?" she asked as she turned back to Arizona.

"I don't have much of a choice. Bring over the munchkin."

Callie nodded before going to get Sofia. Those big dark brown eyes looked up at her as she approached. "Hey, baby girl, you wanna go see Mama?"

She kicked her legs and laughed before holding her hands up to indicate she wanted to be picked up. Callie lifted her and then set her feet on the floor, holding on to both hands to help her daughter walk over to Arizona. Sofia had been walking for about as long as Arizona couldn't. It was a horrible irony, but she knew Arizona loved seeing Sofia walk. Sofia wasn't entirely steady and still liked having someone hold her hands, but she was now able to walk at a good clip if she had that little bit of assistance.

"Hey big girl," Arizona said as they approached, a big smile on her face that warmed Callie's heart.

Sofia giggled but then stopped walking, causing Callie to almost lose her balance because she hadn't anticipated that. She looked down at her daughter and caught the furrowed brow she wore when she was trying to figure something out. "It's okay, Sofia. Let's go over to Mama."

Sofia looked up at her and Callie gave her an encouraging nod. Then little legs started forward again as Sofia returned her attention to her mama. They made it to Arizona in a few more short toddler steps.

"Hi Sofia," Arizona said hesitantly as she watched Sofia with a little trepidation in her blue eyes.

Sofia reached out and put one chubby hand on each of Arizona's knees, not even remotely hesitating before grabbing the prosthetic. Callie quickly moved to sit on the couch next to Arizona so she could watch their interaction. "See, not so bad," Callie whispered as Sofia looked from one leg to the other, obviously trying to figure out why they weren't the same.

Arizona leaned forward a little and waited for Sofia to look up at her. "I know this is confusing, my big girl. First I have a real leg, then after I'm mostly gone for a long time I don't have a leg at all, and now I've got this thing. It's okay. This is Mama's new leg. It's nothing to be afraid of, okay?"

Sofia smacked her hand down hard on the plastic just above the metal knee and then smacked her other hand down on Arizona's right thigh. She went back and forth a few times, her head bouncing back and forth like she was watching a tennis match. Then she looked up at Arizona and raised her arms to be picked up.

Callie laughed quietly as Arizona picked Sofia up and settled her on her lap. "Well, that wasn't so bad."

Sofia immediately started to play with Arizona's necklace, the prosthetic clearly already forgotten. Arizona placed a gentle kiss on the soft dark hair before looking over at Callie, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Guess you were right, although I'm not going to assume this is the last time she notices it and reacts."

"No, it won't be. And she might react badly at some point, but really, I think we all just need to get used to this new part of your life. Of our lives. So, can you do me a favor? I'm sure it's a little uncomfortable, but can you wear it as much as you can handle? So we can all just see it as much as possible? Don't hide it." Callie knew that she needed this just as much as Sofia or even Arizona did. They had to come to terms with Arizona's disability and the prosthesis she would need to return to a reasonably normal life. The more they saw it and the more Arizona wore it, the faster that would happen.

"Okay," Arizona said quietly before looking down at the metal and plastic that was her new left leg. "I guess it's not so bad," she finally said begrudgingly.

"Arizona, it's awesome, okay?"

"It's awesome," she repeated but it wasn't that convincing.

Callie rolled her eyes with a quiet laugh, realizing that she wasn't going to get Arizona to be enthusiastic about her new leg overnight. It was going to be a process. But she was sitting there next to her, and they were having a civil conversation about her amputation and her rehabilitation. And most importantly about their family. It was a huge step forward. "Are you hungry?" Callie finally said as she stood up to move toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, I am."

Callie went into the kitchen and turned to look at Arizona and Sofia. The prosthetic was still jarring to see. But there was their daughter, sitting right on the socket as she stretched across Arizona's lap, and Arizona was whispering to her with a smile on her face. It was a sight that made Callie sure that they would get through this, that they would get back to their family and probably even to their marriage. There was such hope in that image of her family and it filled her with the first joy she'd really felt in months.

_We'll get through this. Together._

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5 - When You're Smiling

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Yes, I'm slowly working on the next chapter of my super dark story, but I needed some happy, so had to whip this out. Hope you all enjoy it. They're continuing to make some progress but still have a way to go.

Thanks for all the kind comments on this. I'm glad you are all enjoying it.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – When You're Smiling**

"Callie?"

"One sec." Callie pulled the blanket over Sofia and then left the nursery, pulling the door behind her as she did. "What's up?" she asked as she walked over toward the kitchen. Arizona was standing in the middle of the small kitchen area, a frown on her face.

"Um," Arizona said as she worried at her lip before she let out a small sigh. "Can you help me? I can't balance and get the crockpot." She looked down at the cabinet below the breakfast bar. "It's not easy to lean over on one leg."

"Sure, no problem," Callie said. She went over and knelt down in front of the cabinet, only pausing once she had the door open. It struck her then that this was the first time that Arizona freely asked for help without sounding bitter or angry. A small smile crept to her lips before she schooled her expression. "There you go," she said as she pulled the crockpot out and placed it on the counter.

"Thanks," Arizona said as she leaned against the counter with her hip and one crutch for balance. She used her free hand to plug it in and start to dump the frozen mass of chili from the Tupperware container into the crockpot. "How long do you think this should cook?"

"Put it on medium and let it go for thirty minutes or so. We can check it then. It just needs to heat through." Callie leaned against the other counter and smiled at her wife. "Thanks."

Arizona put the lid on the crockpot and turned the dial. She then pivoted on her right leg, dragging the prosthetic around so that she was facing Callie. "It's just heating up some chili."

"No. Thanks for asking for help when you need it." Callie bit at her lip, wondering if she should press it. "I know it's not easy for you."

Arizona took a deep breath and let it out. She finally shrugged. "If I can't ask for help here, where can I ask for it?" She pushed off the counter and grabbed her other crutch so she could slowly make her way toward the living room.

Callie started to say something but then stopped, wanting to wait until they were seated and could really focus on one another. They'd finally started to talk civilly and Callie was feeling better about where they were, but she still needed the reassurance of looking at Arizona's face whenever they talked. She found it hard to read Arizona simply by her words. Only once they were both seated on the couch did Callie smile over at her wife. "It's just, I know you hate it when you can't do things. But it's getting better, right?"

Arizona's eyes darkened for a moment, as if a cloud had come over them, but then she just nodded. "It is. And I guess I'll put bending over to get stuff out of low cabinets on my list of things to work on with David." She then let out a sigh and her head fell back to the couch. "That list is so damned long."

Callie started to reach out to put a hand on Arizona's arm but stopped, not wanting to push the unwritten boundaries of their slowly healing relationship. "You're just starting your rehab, Arizona. Cut yourself a break."

"I know," she said with her eyes still closed. "And I'm making peace with this, I really am. I mean, I don't have a choice, right?"

"No, you don't," Callie answered, hearing the pain in her own voice.

Arizona then smiled and let out the quietest of laughs. "I'm not exactly the most patient person in the world."

Callie took Arizona's cue and laughed, too. "No, you aren't. Although I do remember how you got on my case when I was impatient with my recovery."

"Well, you were rushing it," Arizona said with a bright smile that lit up her face as she looked over at Callie, her face open and unguarded.

Callie's breath caught. She hadn't seen Arizona smile at her in months. As Arizona's smile went from broad to questioning, one eyebrow slowly rose. Callie smiled and shook her head, knowing she had been caught reacting strangely. "Nothing."

"No, what?"

Callie sighed heavily. The wonderful mood they had just shared dissipated as she worried that Arizona would react badly if she brought it up. "I…"

"I won't be mad," Arizona said quietly. "I'm done being mad." She rolled her eyes upward and shook her head. "Well, okay, I'm probably not done being mad, but I'm trying, okay?"

"Okay," Callie said, still not feeling overly convinced.

Arizona smiled again and reached over to poke at Callie's side playfully. "Come on, I'm trying to have a better attitude but I need you to play along."

"You smiled," Callie said in a rush.

"I smiled?" Arizona's brow furrowed.

"At me. You smiled at me. You haven't done that since…" She thought back on that day when she had last seen a loving smile from her wife. Arizona had been trying so hard to reassure her that she could manage Derek's surgery. It had been such a hopeful moment and then it all went so very, very wrong.

Arizona's face went dark as her eyes fell to where her hands were now lying limp in her lap. "Oh, right."

A heavy silence fell between them. It was an eerily familiar silence, like the ones that had hovered between them so often in the last months. Callie had hoped it was all behind them, and then she had gone and reminded them both of the day Arizona's leg was amputated. Callie stood up, wanting to break the spell they both had just found themselves under. "Do you want something to drink?"

Arizona reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping her from moving away. Callie looked down to where the smaller hand was wrapped around her own and then up into the blue teary eyes of her wife. "Sit down," Arizona implored.

Callie swallowed hard but nodded as she collapsed back on the couch. Only once she was seated did she notice that Arizona's hand was still wrapped around hers. She couldn't help but smile, even if there was a sad tinge to it. "Sorry I brought it up," she finally croaked out past the lump in her throat.

Arizona looked down at where their hands were entwined and a small smile edged onto her lips. "Look, we need to move on. I know we have a ton to get through still, but we can't pretend the plane didn't crash or that I didn't lose my leg. I don't want to think about that day any more than I have to, but it will always be there."

"It will," Callie agreed.

Arizona then looked up and smiled, although it was just a little forced. "I'm sorry I haven't smiled at you before this. I'm really getting better about knowing in my heart that you made the right choice that day." She squeezed Callie's hand.

Callie smiled then as she felt such relief at how Arizona was handling this and even more so that they were holding hands. She finally laughed quietly. "Smiles and hand holding," she finally whispered quietly, her voice cracking.

Arizona laughed then, too. "You'd think we were a pair of teenagers on a first date instead of an old married couple."

"Who are you calling old?" Callie said, playing up the shock in her voice for comedic effect.

It worked because they both laughed easily. Then a silence fell between them, but this one did not hold the heavy weight of the previous one. Instead, Arizona brought her other hand over to hold both of Callie's hands in her own. Finally she said, "How about some wine?"

Callie smiled over at her wife and noticed the lack of worried lines on her face. It was good to see her so relaxed and, dare she say it, happy. "White?"

"Red will go better with the chili."

"True." Callie sat there for a moment, her eyes falling back down to their hands. She didn't want to break this moment, though, but she knew she shouldn't push it. The last few minutes had been some of the happiest she had experienced since Arizona sent her off to Derek's surgery, but if she pressed it too much, the mood would be gone. "Okay, red it is," she finally said as she pivoted her hands to grab Arizona's and then placed them gently in her lap. She stood up and went over to pull down two wine glasses from the cabinet.

"Callie?"

"Yeah?" Callie said as she placed the two glasses on the counter.

"You made the right decision." She smiled although there was a sadness in her eyes.

Callie knew Arizona still wasn't at peace with the decision Callie had been forced to make and, if Callie were being honest, she wasn't sure she ever truly would be. But maybe, just maybe, if she could play as if, if she could find a way to smile when referring to the lifesaving choice Callie had made, then perhaps she would truly come to believe it someday. She wasn't sure exactly how to respond, though, so instead she just answered Arizona with a smile.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6 - Can't Fight the Moonlight

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** I'm on a writing roll, so wanted to see if I could update all three of my stories in about 24 hours. And I did! Don't expect this to continue, but we'll see if I can keep up a good pace before the semester starts in February.

Thanks for all the kind comments on this series of scenes. I'm glad you are all enjoying it. I hope you like this one. A few more baby steps.

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Can't Fight the Moonlight**

Arizona awoke suddenly and blinked a few times, trying to clear her head and realize what had brought her out of her slumber. Then she heard Sofia crying loudly, in that way she had when she had woken in the middle of the night because she was scared. "Poor baby," she muttered as she sat up and reached for her crutches, not even hesitating in wanting to go to her daughter.

Luckily she had gotten quick on the crutches and so she made it just into the nursery before she heard Callie's key in the door. Instead of waiting for her wife, she went over to where Sofia was standing in her crib, her face red from crying. "Oh, Sofia, it's okay. Mama's here."

Callie swooped into the nursery just then. "Sof—Arizona, did she wake you? I'm sorry. I must have been sleeping really soundly."

"Of course she woke me, Callie. Every time she cries I wake up. I just haven't gotten up before now." She reached out and ran her hand over Sofia's back trying to soothe her. "I couldn't have helped before but I think I can now."

"What? Yes, of course you can, Arizona. You always could have."

It felt like Callie was chastising her for not getting up before this when their daughter woke at night. "What's that supposed to mean?" She shot Callie a dark look.

"What? No, I just meant…" Callie let out an exasperated sigh as she walked over to stand next to Arizona. "I know you thought you couldn't help before, but you were always welcome to help. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is you're here now, okay?"

Arizona held her gaze for a moment until Sofia let out another round of loud cries and pulled her attention back to their daughter. "I can't lift her on the crutches. If I sit in the rocking chair, can you give her to me?"

"Of course," Callie said as she reached in to grab Sofia under each arm. "Get comfortable," she said as she hefted the toddler out of the crib and propped her tightly to her chest.

Arizona slid into the rocking chair, placing her crutches to the side. As Callie came over, she reached up to take Sofia from her, frowning slightly when their daughter let out a cry at the transfer. "Shh, baby girl, remember how we used to do this?"

But it occurred to her that she didn't remember. It had been months since she had been the one to soothe her back to sleep. From the time they had brought her home from the hospital right up to the plane crash, Arizona had loved that she was the one who could get Sofia to go back to sleep at night. It was one of those things that made her realize that they had a special bond that went well beyond biology. But now Sofia had been having this experience with Callie since then, and obviously the toddler had grown accustomed to it. Yet again she was reminded that she had lost so much more than just her leg in the crash. And her daughter had lost so much, too.

"The first few weeks I couldn't get her to settle down," Callie said as she knelt down next to the rocking chair. "It was worse than normal because she missed you and Mark so much. But we finally got it figured out. Well kind of. I'm still not quite as good at getting her back to bed like you are."

"Were," Arizona whispered as she pulled Sofia to her chest. She began to rub her back in the small circles that had always worked to soothe her before. But this time she was less consolable and she just continued to cry and rub at her eyes. "Sofia, shh, we're here. We're both here," she whispered into her little ear as she started to rock the chair with her leg.

"I have an idea," Callie said as she got up and walked out of the nursery.

Arizona frowned at her wife's disappearance but then quickly went back to focusing on Sofia. "My sweet baby girl, I'm so sorry we don't have this down so well anymore. But we'll get it back, okay? This will be our thing again," she promised quietly as she placed a gentle kiss on the soft cheek.

Callie came back in, carrying Arizona's prosthetic and the sock she wore. "She likes to be bounced. If you can stand up, then you could bounce with her a little. I'll help you keep your balance if you need it, okay?" She cringed and then shook her head. "If you think that's stupid—"

"No, let's give it a try. Can you hold her for a minute?"

Callie took Sofia and moved over to the other side of the room. Arizona noticed how she focused intently on Sofia and she couldn't help but wonder if Callie was trying to avoid watching Arizona put the prosthetic on, either out of respect for Arizona or some revulsion. She shook her head to chase away the negative thoughts and quickly slid on the sock and then the leg, strapping the Velcro tightly so that she wouldn't have any slips. This would be the first time she carried Sofia while standing and she didn't want there to be any problems because she hadn't been careful to apply the leg properly. She stood up, taking a moment to get her balance and then said, "Okay, let's give this a try."

"Can you take a step forward so that I can get behind you in case you need a little balance help?" Callie came over and stood to the side, her eyes focused on Arizona's legs.

Arizona took a step with her right leg and then let the prosthetic come forward. She took a moment to bend her right knee, the prosthetic bending in kind, and then straightening her leg. She felt surprisingly steady as she did it again, a little quicker this time. It felt a little awkward, but she was getting used to everything about being upright feeling that way of late. "Okay, let's try this."

Callie first handed Sofia off and then moved behind Arizona, but didn't touch her at all. "Let me know if there are any problems," Callie whispered close to her ear.

"Okay, Sofia, bouncing huh? Is that what you're into now?" She bent her right knee slightly, feeling the prosthetic bend as she pressed down on it with her left leg. She then stood back up straight, smiling as she still felt steady, even with the additional weight of their rapidly growing daughter held tightly to her chest. She got into a good rhythm of bouncing gently up and down as she again started to whisper soothing words into Sofia's ear while rubbing her back.

What had been cries quickly became slight grunts as Sofia started to settle down. It took a few minutes, but she finally quieted and then her breathing evened out as she fell asleep. Arizona looked over her shoulder to find Callie smiling at her. Her wife came around and gently took the toddler before easing her back into her crib. Arizona grabbed her crutches and walked over to stand next to Callie. She smiled at her wife before reaching down to pull the little purple blanket up over their peaceful little girl. She then motioned with her head toward the door.

Callie motioned for Arizona to precede her and then followed her into the living area. They stood there, a little of their old awkwardness coming back before Callie motioned with her head toward the front door. "I guess I'll get back to Mark's."

"Callie, why don't you sleep here? The sofa bed isn't that uncomfortable." It was a question she had wanted to ask for weeks but hadn't had the guts to confront the issue.

"It's, um…" Callie looked down at the floor and let out a deep breath. "Ironically, it's less lonely."

Arizona suspected as much. She knew any reminder of the problems between them, of how their lives had so dramatically changed, was painful for her wife. It was for Arizona, too. And yet it still pulled at her heart to think that Callie had to resort to staying at her dead best friend's place instead of wanting to be in her own home. "Would you maybe sleep here from now on? I'm not quite ready to…"

"You're not ready to have me back in the same bed," Callie finished for her.

"Yeah. I'm getting better, I really am. And I hope that I'll be ready soon. I want to be." Arizona moved over to stand right in front of Callie so she could see her eyes in the soft moonlight coming from the living room windows. "I guess it's selfish of me, but I like knowing you're nearby," she finally admitted quietly.

That must have surprised Callie because she pulled in a sharp breath before letting it out slowly. They stood there and just looked at one another for a few long moments. Finally Callie nodded. "Okay," she said.

"Thank you."

"Let me go get my pillows," she said as she gave Arizona a small smile and then left the apartment.

Arizona let out a deep breath of relief. She turned and headed back toward the bedroom, getting to the door and then turning and waiting for Callie's return. A few moments later Callie came back in trailing a blanket and holding a pile of pillows. Arizona watched as her wife placed everything on their couch. Finally Callie sat down on the couch and looked up at Arizona.

"Good night, Callie."

"Good night, Arizona."

As Arizona turned to go back into the bedroom, she thought she had seen a smile come to Callie's lips. But then again, it might have just been a trick of the moonlight streaming through the window. It didn't really matter. What truly mattered was that Callie was home. And for that, Arizona was the one that certainly smiled.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7 - Water Under the Bridge

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in all my writing. Been suffering some serious writer's block of late. I hope it improves soon because I'd really like to make some headway on these two stories I still have going (not to mention I have a short story that doesn't fit into either that I'm wanting to write but can't find the hook to get going).

As always, thank you for all the comments. I do so truly appreciate them and am grateful that you are enjoying these little scenes when I manage to get them out.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Water Under the Bridge**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Arizona looked up sharply at Callie and sighed. "Did I tell you not to push yourself after the car accident? I mean, in hindsight, I probably should have, but I supported you right up until you collapsed in my arms. Can you just support me in this?"

Callie took a sharp breath and shook her head. "I'm supportive, Arizona. Of course I'm supportive. But David must have a reason why he didn't want you walking with a cane yet." She motioned toward the object in question, which sat propped against the couch. "He's the expert."

"You're an orthopedist. Is there any reason this could hurt me?" Arizona slid forward on the couch, leaning on her thighs. "Callie, I'm sick of those damned crutches. I can't carry anything with them. I can't even go get a drink of water. How am I supposed to get back to living if I can't even get a drink of water?"

Callie ran her hand through her hair in frustration. Of course she wanted to support Arizona and she wanted her to become more mobile. It tore her apart every time she saw Arizona struggle. And she knew from all her experience that if she could just work on walking that it wouldn't be long before she would be walking with few problems. But Callie was also so afraid of her suffering a setback that would frustrate her. Arizona had just started to have some hope, but she still teetered so close to the edge of the darkness that had engulfed her after the amputation. Callie wasn't sure she could bare it if her wife fell back down into that despair. "What if you fall?"

"I'm going to fall, Callie. A lot. I'm learning to walk again. Would you tell Sofia not to walk because she falls down a lot?"

"Of course not," Callie said with a loud sigh.

"So don't tell me that. Give me the cane and be supportive. If I fall, I'll get back up." The hard expression on her face softened and she smiled. "I'll even let you help me get up, how's that?"

Callie reached over and put her hand on the cane. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart. Now, give me." She motioned with her fingers toward the cane.

"Okay, but please be careful."

Arizona rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to try to run, Callie. I just want to walk from this couch to that one to start, okay?"

"Okay," Callie said, finally laughing just a little. She got up and grabbed the cane. She walked over and started to hold it out to Arizona. When her wife reached for it, Callie pulled it back. "What do you say?"

"Oh my God, give me the damned cane. That's what I say." While Arizona's words were harsh, there was just a hint of laughter to her tone.

"Yeah, that's not the magic word, but okay," Callie replied as she handed her wife the cane.

Arizona rolled her eyes as she took the cane in her right hand. She then took a deep breath and slowly started to push to a standing position. "Not so bad," she said as she came to a full standing position. But then she lost her balance and quickly fell back down onto the couch.

"Spoke too soon, huh?"

"Oh shut up," Arizona said with another quiet laugh. She then smiled up at Callie. "Like I said, if I fall, I'll just try again. Isn't that what you've been telling me to do?"

Callie just quirked her eyebrow at her wife. She was enjoying their little banter. It felt like _them._

Arizona smiled as she pushed back to a standing position. This time she was steadier and she grinned as she leaned slightly on the cane in her right hand. Callie watched her as she seemed to be contemplating something and then she took a step with her right foot, still leaning heavily on the cane to provide a balance to her prosthetic. She then quickly swung the prosthetic forward and let the heel hit the ground before moving the cane forward. She took another breath and then put her weight on it, quickly taking another step with her right leg, all the while using the cane to balance.

Callie smiled as Arizona continued taking the small, quick steps across the living room from one couch to the other. "You're doing great," she finally let out as Arizona approached the other couch.

"See, told you. Easy peasy." Arizona looked over her shoulder and smiled at Callie. And then she promptly lost her balance and went falling into the other couch.

"Are you okay?" Callie rushed over to check on Arizona.

Arizona rolled over on the couch so that she was facing Callie. "Yes, of course I am. The couch broke my fall. My God, Callie, just quit hovering." She used the couch and the cane to help steady her as she stood back up to face Callie.

Callie stopped as if she had been slapped. "I'm sorry," she let out, feeling the good mood she'd had at their earlier banter dissipate. "I don't mean to."

"Well, you are. I'm disabled, not an invalid," Arizona shot back.

Now Callie's temper started to flare. "Well, I'm glad you realize that finally, Arizona. Because to be honest, until recently you could have fooled me."

"You try having only one leg Callie. You have no idea how hard this is," Arizona spat back.

"Don't you think I would if I could? Don't you think I'd give you my own leg if I could? I'm sorry, Arizona. How many times do I have to tell you that?" The tears sprang to her eyes and she felt her throat close up with emotion as she barely was able to repeat, "I'm just so sorry."

Callie fell heavily down onto the couch and put her head in her hands as the tears continued to fall. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, it felt like perhaps a few minutes, but finally she felt the couch next to her dip as Arizona sat down. "Callie," she said, her voice more gentle than Callie could remember hearing it since before the crash.

"No, don't," Callie replied as she turned away slightly. She couldn't face Arizona's anger or her pity at that moment. She didn't deserve either, she knew. At that moment she didn't feel like she deserved much of anything.

"Look at me," Arizona said more insistently. There was a moment's pause and then Arizona's hand pulled at her shoulder, forcing her back around so they were facing each other. "Please, look at me."

Callie sniffed loudly as she wiped the tears from her cheeks before she let her eyes rise to meet Arizona's. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I know you did the right thing—"

"In your head," Callie cut in, reminding them both of how Arizona often referred to her feelings about Callie's approval to amputate her leg.

Arizona shook her head and let out a quiet sigh. "In my heart, too. Really. You saved my life. That's what's important and I'm grateful. I know I haven't really said that, but I am. You did the right thing."

Callie didn't really believe her. It was just Arizona trying to avoid conflict, which she supposed was an improvement in its own right. It was simply Arizona getting back to her old self, where she would run at the first sign of trouble. "Please don't just say that to make me feel better."

"I'm not." She let out a deep breath and then took both of Callie's hands in her own, leaving them all entangled on Callie's lap. "Look, I know it now. I really know it. I'm never going to be happy about it—"

"Me neither," Callie quickly tossed in.

"No, I know you aren't. So, we're both going to always hate that I took that turn for the worse and my leg had to be amputated. We're both going to always hate that I was on that plane in the first place. But it happened and we can't change it. And, really, it's time to stop hating. It's time to stop just being mad at the world and at life. I can't keep this up. It's exhausting."

"It's not you," Callie said, feeling a little of the hope return as she saw the sincerity in Arizona's eyes.

"No, it's not me. Until recently I just figured I'd changed, that this was me, the new me." She swallowed hard and Callie could see tears building in her eyes. "But I don't want this to be me. I want to find a way to be my old self again. Or as close to it as possible. It's just, I have a long way to go to be the old Arizona."

Callie looked down to where both their hands still sat in her lap and she smiled. "I'll help. I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"Whatever I can't do, you'll do. I remember that promise."

Callie thought back to that night in the ambulance bay with Arizona seeming so scared and lost. At the time, she had felt so horrible for Arizona's pain. She'd had no idea how small and simple those troubles with Nick would be compared to what was to come. "That's a promise I will always keep."

"I know." Arizona squeezed Callie's hands and ducked her head until she caught Callie's eye. Only when they were looking at one another again did she continue. "I'm sorry that I was angry at you. Or maybe I was more angry at everything and just took it out on you. I don't know. But I'm sorry either way. You've been so wonderful through all of this. You have. And, well, I'm just sorry."

Callie bit at her lip to keep fresh tears from streaming down her cheeks. It meant so much that Arizona was apologizing. It was certainly not the last they would need to say on the subject, because she knew they really needed to talk about all that had transpired over the last months and now was not that time, but still to have Arizona acknowledge that she had treated her so harshly and that she was now sorry about it, meant so much to Callie. "Thank you. I understand. I do."

"Thanks." Arizona gave Callie's hands another squeeze before withdrawing them and pushing herself to her feet. "Do you want something to drink?" she asked as she slowly started to walk toward the fridge, each step seeming steadier than the last.

Callie smiled. "How about a bottle of water? You can carry two of them in one hand now that you've got the cane."

Arizona turned slightly as she made it to the fridge and opened the door. "And they won't break if I fall on my way back either. Good choice." She leaned down to where the bottles of water were in the bottom of the fridge door.

"Arizona?"

She stood up and looked back over at Callie. "Yeah?"

"You'll find your way back. We both will."

The smile Arizona gave her then seemed more genuine than any she had worn since the crash. "We will." She pushed the door shut with her hip before slowly walking back over to the couch and handing Callie the bottle of water as she almost fell to sit beside her. "My God is that exhausting," she said as she cracked open her own bottle.

"You did awesome."

Arizona laughed and it was like music to Callie's ears. "Awesome? You're using the word awesome now?"

"I am. Got a problem with that?" Callie quirked an eyebrow in mock challenge.

"No, not at all. Not at all."

"Good," Callie said as she took a sip of water. "Now don't you dare tell David I went along with this. I have to work with him."

"My lips are sealed," Arizona said.

Callie smiled over at Arizona and gave her just the slightest of nods before reaching for the remote to turn on the TV. She knew they still had limits to how much they could open up to one another and she was afraid they would rapidly approach it if this continued. _But this was good, awesome even. Things are going to keep getting better. That's definitely awesome._

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8 - Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Well at least this one has only been sitting about 5 weeks between updates (compared to about 9 weeks for my other story). Damned writers block combined with grad school and a full-time job…well, yeah, you can imagine. But I'm back on the horse now, so hoping to keep it up. Updates might not be super-fast, but they'll be better than they have been. Promise.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's a little less happy than some, but a good and important scene from their joint recovery I think. I'd love to hear what you think, of course, and thank you all in advance for your reviews.

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**Chapter 8 – Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep**

Arizona couldn't sleep. It was little wonder since the medical bed was far from comfortable, no matter what position she had it in. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "We should move our bed back in here." The thought came so naturally to her that it surprised her and she laughed quietly to herself. "And then what? Then we have to figure out where we go from there, huh?" The thought strangely enough both terrified and excited her. She wanted things to start to get back to normal between her and Callie. They were making progress, but being able to sleep in the same room, in the same bed, would certainly be a huge step in the right direction. That still didn't mean it didn't terrify her.

Arizona rolled over on her side in an attempt to sleep when she heard something coming from the living room. It took her a moment to pick out the quiet noise, but soon she was sure it was her wife's voice, although she couldn't make out the words. Frowning, she sat up and reached for the crutches she had propped against the nightstand. She stood on her right foot and propped them under her armpits before slowly starting to hobble out into the living room.

The light from the moon and street lights shining through the windows was just enough to make out Callie sleeping on the sofa bed. She was half on her stomach, legs tangled in the sheets and blanket, and her hair was a mess hiding her face. Arizona frowned again as she watched Callie's head shake in her sleep. "Please. Please," her wife said quietly, her voice strangled with emotion.

Arizona instantly recognized Callie's nightmare state. She wasn't often one to have them, but it had certainly happened at least a handful of times in all the years they had been sharing a bed. With that experience behind her, Arizona knew that if she didn't wake Callie up now, her desperation would just increase until she woke up, likely screaming, and most definitely falling off the sofa bed and potentially hurting herself on the coffee table.

Anticipating at least a small cry at the interruption to her nightmare, Arizona quickly went to Sofia's door and peeked in, noticing that their daughter seemed completely knocked out. She let out a brief sigh of relief and shut the door firmly, hoping that any noise Callie might make when interrupted wouldn't disturb their daughter's rest. They didn't need a crying toddler on their hands this late at night if they could help it.

Arizona then hopped back over to the living room and sat down on the coffee table. She moved her crutches on the other side of the table and then took a deep breath. She leaned over to Callie and shook her shoulder gently. "Callie, wake up," she said, trying to keep her voice just loud enough to do the trick. When Callie just shook her head and continued to mumble out a stream of ever more frantic pleading, she did it again, shaking her shoulder harder and increasing the volume of her voice. "Callie, wake up."

"Huh? What?" Callie asked as her body jerked awake. Her arm flew out, as if trying to ward off some unexpected attack, and her eyes blinked open. "What?" It took her a few moments until her eyes seemed to focus, all the while her chest rising and falling quickly with the panicked breaths she was pulling into her lungs. Finally, she seemed to come back to herself and frowned. "Arizona?"

"Hey," she said, her voice low. She smiled gently, hoping to help calm her wife down. "You were having a nightmare."

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Callie said as she struggled to disentangle herself from the bedding wrapped around her feet. Finally, she kicked her legs free and sat up, turning to face Arizona. "I'm awake now. You can go back to bed."

For a split second Arizona considered doing just that, but she understood the power of nightmares, more now than ever, having suffered through them many nights in the last fourteen or so months—first in the wake of the car crash and then almost nightly since their plane fell from the sky. While Arizona was one to try to handle her own problems herself, she knew her wife needed to get things out. She wasn't someone who could keep her problems to herself for long and perhaps if Arizona talked it out with her, at least one of them would get a good night's sleep. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Callie said dismissively as she rose to her feet and put distance between them by heading into the kitchen. She poked her head into the fridge and then looked over at Arizona. "Do you want some water?"

"Sure," Arizona said, waiting patiently for Callie to return with the bottles. She watched the way her wife didn't seem to want to look at her and the hesitant way she held the bottle of water out to Arizona, like she was afraid of being bitten. She waited for Callie to sit back down on the edge of the sofa bed and then ducked her head so that she could catch her gaze in the soft light from outside. "Please, tell me about the nightmare."

"It was nothing," Callie said, obviously lying, as she pulled her feet up underneath her and twisted the cap off the bottle. "Really, I don't even remember."

"You're lying." Arizona stood and used the couch arm rest to hold herself up as she leaned over and turned on the lamp on the end table. She then turned and sat next to Callie on the sofa bed, hoping that her wife would see she was serious about wanting to talk. "Now, just tell me so we can both try to get some sleep."

Callie stared at her, her eyes wide in fear, but she didn't look away. Finally, she seemed to deflate and her head fell. "I don't want to talk about it."

Arizona thought she knew what Callie was hesitant about. "Are you afraid of worrying me because I already have enough to worry about? Or do you think your nightmare isn't equal to the ones that I have all the time?" When Callie's breath obviously caught, Arizona realized she had struck a chord. "That's it, huh? This isn't a competition, Callie. I wasn't the only one who went through Hell. I know you did, too."

"It's nothing compared—"

"Stop it," Arizona said to cut her off. She let out a quick breath and softened her voice. "Sorry, but listen. I know we've both been so focused on me, for probably both the right and wrong reasons, but I want you to tell me what's going on. Please? The only way we're going to get through this is if we start being honest with one another."

Callie winced as she looked up at Arizona. "It's in the past Arizona."

"But it's not. If it were in the past you wouldn't be having nightmares. Now spill it." She took a swig from her water bottle, hoping that pulling back on the seriousness just a bit might do the trick.

Callie nodded as she let out a deep breath. "I was dreaming about the day they found you."

Arizona's brow furrowed. "You had a nightmare about me being found? Is your life so horrible with me around now that you're having nightmares about me being found?"

"No, no," Callie said as she grabbed Arizona's forearm. She stared at where her hand was and then quickly let go, as if she were surprised she had touched Arizona at all. Finally, she looked up at Arizona. "The dream is always the same. I'm sitting on the floor in the corner of the conference room. That became my little cave in a way to hide from the world while we waited hour after hour with no news. We had been told that morning that if they didn't find you by sunset they were going to have to scale back the search the next day. I knew that meant they figured you were all dead, so every minute that went by just made that such a bigger possibility."

Arizona pulled her leg up under her as she nodded. "As hard as it was to be out in those woods with my injury and the fear of not making it, I can't imagine how hard it would be to just not know where we were or how we were doing. At least I knew you and Sofia were safe. And it wasn't just me you had to worry about."

Callie nodded and wiped at her left eye. "I kept thinking about Sofia losing both of you." She closed her eyes and shook her head as if chasing away some thought or image. "I kept thinking how much she would miss out on without her daddy and her mama."

"You would have, too," Arizona added, hoping to prod her forward in revealing what was bothering her.

"Yeah," Callie said with a nod. She kept her eyes on the water bottle in her hands, but didn't say anything else.

Arizona felt a hint of frustration well up in her, but she pushed it away. She needed to remember her own words. This wasn't a competition and Callie had a right to have horrible memories and fears, too. And if she was reluctant to share them, then Arizona needed to be supportive, even if it frustrated her to pull the information from her wife bit by bit. "So you're sitting in the corner and what happens?"

"The phone rang. We were getting updates three times a day, but this time it rang at a time when we weren't expecting it, so that could mean only one thing."

"They'd found us."

"Right. I remember Owen looking up at me with such fear in his eyes as he reached out for the phone. And I knew exactly what he was feeling. It had been hard to have hope, and it got harder every hour, but right then it was like reality was about to hit and it was going to be so final, one way or another. I was terrified and I just went back to the same prayer I'd been saying the entire time. I just kept saying in my head that I just wanted you to be alive. That was all I wanted." Tears spilled out over her lashes and down her face.

Arizona was confused at why Callie was so upset about this. She had come back alive so Callie had gotten what she prayed for. And then Arizona started to realize what might be bothering her wife. "You didn't pray for anyone else to come home. Do you blame yourself for Lexie and Mark?"

Callie shook her head as she wiped frantically at her cheek. "No. Not really. I mean I certainly prayed for Mark to return earlier. I didn't want Sofia to lose her daddy and he was my best friend. But right then all I could do was think about you, so maybe I feel a little guilty, because I still should have been praying for them." She took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "But worse I never once prayed that you come home healthy. I just kept saying in my head that it didn't matter, that as long as you were alive we'd be okay, that our love would be enough to get us through." She laughed dryly. "I even remember thinking I could handle it if you had amnesia, because if I had to, I'd get you to fall in love with me again. God, I clearly watch too many bad TV shows."

Arizona couldn't help but let out the softest of laughs at her joke, but she quickly got serious again. "Do you really think your prayer caused me to lose my leg?"

Callie shrugged but then shook her head. "No, I know that isn't the case." She swallowed hard and finally turned tear-filled eyes up to Arizona. "But what if it was? Shouldn't I have asked that you, that none of you, were hurt?"

Arizona couldn't help but let out an exasperated sigh. "Callie, listen to me." She reached over and took her wife's hand, feeling how even this little bit of contact seemed somehow alien to her now. She shook her head and waited for Callie's brown eyes to meet her own. "From the moment you knew we were missing, you prayed we would be found, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, do you really think God left us out there for four days just so my leg would get so infected it couldn't be saved? Because you never specifically ask that I wasn't hurt? Really?" She knew Callie's faith was certainly stronger than her own, but she couldn't believe her wife would really think that.

"No." Callie let out a loud sigh. "I'm just disappointed in myself for not asking for more. I feel like I gave up on you in a way." She wiped at another tear that streaked down her cheek. "I think that's probably why I promised you that day in the hospital that you wouldn't lose your leg. You told me not to give up on you and I didn't want to do that again."

The fact that Callie had promised her that was still a sore point for Arizona and it hurt to remember that promise and the disappointing outcome. So, not wanting to really dwell on that, she decided to try to steer the conversation back to where it had started. "Okay, I get that. I get that you think that, but my leg was already broken by the time you knew we were missing. The wheels were already in motion and the infection was already setting in by that first night when you found out. The only thing that would have saved it really was being found earlier and that was just bad luck. We weren't where they looked first. But you're right, the most important thing is that they found us before we were all dead. Another day or two and we would have been dropping like flies." She bit at her lip. "But you couldn't have known any of that when that phone rang."

"No, I didn't know anything then. I think I just relive that moment in my dreams because I've never been so scared in my life. And that was just the beginning of a hellish rollercoaster of emotion. First Owen answered and I saw him sigh in relief. I thought that meant you were all safe. But then he tensed again and his eyes met mine and there was something in them that terrified me, like he was going to tell me specifically some bad news. When he got off the phone, he still just looked at me for a moment before he said that you'd all been found and all but one of you were alive. He said the commander of the search only knew that it was a woman who had died. We didn't have a name. There was a twenty-five percent chance it was you. Thirty minutes. That's about all it took until we got another call and found out it was Lexie. For thirty minutes I was faced with the very real possibility that you were dead."

"That must have been horrible. I didn't know they had called you and told you that." Arizona felt tears coming to her own eyes and she blinked to keep them from falling. "I can't imagine how scary that must have been."

"It was. Up until then I could believe that you would all come home alive. But now we knew the crash had been bad enough that someone died. I swear I wore a hole in the floor with all the pacing I did in those thirty minutes. And then the phone rang again."

Arizona reached up and wiped a tear off Callie's cheek without even thinking about it. When Callie looked at her with surprise playing in her eyes, she realized what she had done and instead of instantly retreating like she inherently wanted to, she just nodded and forced a little smile onto her lips. "Go on."

"When Owen answered the phone, I couldn't even look at him. I couldn't stand the idea of him giving me that look. So I turned and looked out of the window, and that window faces our building, so I was staring right at it. And this time I prayed that it was anyone but you. I was being so selfish. I didn't care if it was Meredith, or Lexie, or even Cristina. I knew it had to be one of you, so I prayed it was anyone but you." Callie's eyes dropped and she shook her head a little. "Anyone but you," she said so quietly Arizona barely heard it.

Arizona gave her a few moments while she thought about how she would have reacted. It didn't surprise her at all that Callie would think that. Anyone would in that situation. And it certainly didn't surprise her that Callie would be beating herself up about it now. Sometimes her wife had a hard time understanding that she was only human. Finally she tilted Callie's face so they were looking at one another. "You listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. What were you supposed to do, hope it was me that was dead so that you could feel noble for being so selfless? Really? Someone was dead. Nothing you thought or did at that point was going to change that or who it was. Stop feeling bad that you acted just like anyone else would have. If it had been you on that plane, I would have done the same exact thing."

"I know, but—"

"No buts. You already know that I wished Alex had been on that plane instead of me. And you know what? If I could make the choice today, if I could go back in time and decide not to take his place, even knowing what I know now, I'd do it. And I wouldn't think twice. Does that make me horrible?"

"Of course not."

"Exactly. So just stop it. Stop worrying about it."

Callie started to talk, like she was about to argue, but then she let out a quiet sigh and rolled her eyes with a hint of amusement. "You're right."

"Of course I'm right. Now I know just because your brain knows you shouldn't worry about it, that it might take a while to get over the nightmares, to make your heart believe it." Arizona swallowed hard, thinking of all the images that plagued her own sleep almost nightly. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get a full night's sleep without waking up from a dream about crashing or the memories of waking up to my leg being gone or any of the dozen or so other nightmares that seem to be on a screwed up playlist in my head."

"You know, if you want, I'm here to listen, too," Callie offered a little hesitantly.

"I know." Arizona said with a genuine smile. As they were slowly starting to let each other back in, even when things still felt strained between them, she knew Callie would be there for her. It was just so hard to open herself up, to make herself feel vulnerable with Callie. Or maybe it was better to say feel more vulnerable. It was hard not to feel vulnerable when your whole life was changed and you could barely get around and care for yourself without help. "Not tonight, but someday I'll tell you. Right now, it's late and you have to work tomorrow."

Callie stretched and her back gave out an audible pop. She smiled a little sheepishly but then covered it by just nodding and holding her hand out for Arizona's bottle of water. "I'll put these in the recycling bin."

"Callie," Arizona said as her wife started to get up.

Callie stopped and sat back down. "What?"

Arizona had started speaking before she could even think about it and for once she decided to continue on kind of recklessly. If she continued to think things over too much they might never make much progress back to one another. "What do you say we call the medical supply company and get that bed out of here? They'll set up our bed, right?"

A momentary look of enthusiasm that was quickly covered with an obvious attempt to school her features flashed across Callie's face. "Yeah, sure. I guess our bed is more comfortable than that medical bed, huh?"

Arizona nodded. "I think it might help me sleep a little better."

Callie nodded and smiled, but there was sadness to it. "I'll call tomorrow and set it up for a day I have off." She then got up and went into the kitchen to toss out the water bottles.

Arizona watched her wife, her heart pounding as she quickly wondered if she could offer to let Callie back into their bed once it was there. Part of her wanted to, but another part was terrified. She was the most vulnerable when she was asleep and she also wasn't sure if her sleep would be improved if she was worried about Callie sleeping just inches away. But then she rolled her eyes at her indecision and swallowed hard. "Um, you know, I bet our bed is way more comfortable than this sofa bed, too."

Callie looked up quickly, her eyes wide. "You sure?"

Arizona pushed herself to standing and then leaned over the coffee table, balanced on her right hand as she grabbed her crutches from the other side. She used the time it took to pull herself back to standing to think about how to answer that. If she were honest, she'd have to say she wasn't. She was so far from sure it surprised even her. But she wanted Callie to think she was ready to make this step. So, as she placed the crutches under her arms she nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Callie's smile was blinding. "I'm glad."

Arizona forced herself to push her uncertainty down and smile back. "Okay, well I better let you get some sleep." She started to hop back toward the bedroom, but stopped as she passed Callie. "I hope you sleep well, Callie."

"I think I will now," her wife answered with a sweet smile.

Arizona nodded and then went back into the bedroom. After climbing into bed, she rolled on her side and looked out into the living room to where Callie was sorting out her bedding. She felt a nervous nausea start to settle into her stomach as her mind tripped over the fact that she had just welcomed Callie back into their bed. _It's her bed, too, _she tried to reason with herself, but it wasn't helping the nervousness and downright fear that was settling over her. "Stop it," she hissed quietly to herself. "None of this was her fault, so stop punishing her. It's time to start moving on, Arizona. It's time to move on. Just act as if and maybe it'll be all right. Please, just let it be all right."

She closed her eyes and tried to settle her mind, but it just wasn't happening. Which was probably for the best, since while Callie might have gotten some relief from her nightmares, Arizona was sure she would be haunted for many nights to come.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9 - Not Just a Piece of Paper

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** And now onto something a little more happy than my other story. Glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I definitely think it's important that we see Arizona understand that Callie went through hell, too. Would definitely be a point where they would have healed some as a couple, so I wanted to include that.

Now on to a scene that I'm reasonably sure didn't happen in the time period I'm writing, because it deals with a theme from earlier in season 8 that I doubt Shonda would skip if she intended to do it. But I wanted to write it and it's my story, so here goes. And I hope you all enjoy it. I think we've officially hit rolling snowball stage where things are picking up faster and faster as they heal.

As always, thanks so much for your reviews. I love to hear your thoughts and truly appreciate them. They are a great motivation to write more.

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**Chapter 9 – Not Just a Piece of Paper**

Callie closed the apartment door and wearily placed her keys on the table and her purse on the floor. It had been such a long day and she was glad it was all behind her. Why she had thought it would be a good idea to schedule the meeting with Mark's lawyer after a full day of work was beyond her. Maybe it was because when she had made the appointment she was still having such problems with Arizona and had likely hoped to have an entire day away. But now that they were mending their relationship that incentive wasn't there. Instead, a tough day at work had been followed by an incredibly emotional meeting, and now she wanted nothing more than to just crash.

Arizona's head poked around the corner from the kitchen. "Hey. How'd it go?"

Callie sighed heavily as she shrugged out of her jacket. "It was hard. Sit down and I'll fill you in."

"Sofia's asleep and you don't have to work tomorrow, so how about we open a bottle of wine? Or are you too tired?"

Callie laughed as she moved toward Arizona, still so unsure of herself as to how to greet her wife. Instead of giving her a kiss in greeting, as she would have before the accident, she paused a few feet away and gave Arizona a simple smile. "I might fall asleep on you, but wine sounds perfect. I'll get it."

"No, sit down. I can manage." She pulled her hand up to show that she had her cane with her. "It'll take two trips, but I've got it."

"Thanks," Callie said as she first went and glanced into Sofia's room, smiling at the peaceful look on their daughter's face as she slept all sprawled out in her crib. Then she turned and went into the living room, kicking off her shoes and practically falling onto the couch. Her body ached, but worse her brain was screaming from all the emotions of the day.

Arizona first brought over a bottle of merlot and the bottle opener, placing it on the coffee table near Callie, and then went back into the kitchen to grab two glasses. "Can you open it or are you too tired for that?"

Callie laughed quietly as she forced her muscles to move her forward. "I think I can handle that. Every second wasted with this bottle unopened is a second wasted in getting to the drinking part." She made quick work of the cork, pulling it out and enjoying the satisfying noise it made as it pulled free. "I love that sound," she said to herself.

Arizona's laughter indicated she had heard. "A real wine addict."

"I prefer connoisseur," Callie said as she placed the bottle back down on the table. "Let's leave it to breathe for a few moments."

"Okay," Arizona said as she placed the two glasses on the table and then sat down on the couch next to Callie.

It didn't go unnoticed that Arizona hadn't sat on the other couch or even as far as possible away from her. A smile spread unbidden to Callie's lips as she turned so that she was facing her wife. "And how was your day?"

"Let's see," Arizona said with a mock look of introspection on her face. "I watched the Judge Judy marathon this afternoon, read about a year's worth of pediatric journals, and finally had something to do when Bailey brought the munchkin home. We played for a little while and then she attacked a plate of chicken nuggets and carrots. Having Bailey bring her home was a good idea, by the way."

Callie was relieved that Arizona thought that. When she had suggested that Bailey bring Sofia home from daycare and then Arizona would be home alone with her for a few hours while Callie went to her appointment with the lawyer, she was worried that Arizona would have thought she couldn't handle it. But she had simply smiled and agreed. Callie was incredibly proud of her for that. "It's time like this I'm glad we live across the street from the hospital."

They then fell into silence, just being comfortable both being there. That was at least something that was newly rediscovered in their relationship and Callie for one was glad. After enjoying the companionable silence for a few moments, Callie leaned forward and poured them each a glass of the red wine, smiling as she handed it off to her wife. "I'm glad you had a good day. Was she okay going to sleep?"

Arizona nodded. "She was. I think she was actually a little surprised that you weren't there when she went to sleep, but not in a bad way. The shock actually seemed to mellow her out. She was asleep within a few minutes after I tucked her in."

"Good." Callie sipped at her wine and then sighed as the alcohol trickled down her throat. "Today was really rough."

"You want to talk about it?"

If Arizona had asked her two days ago, she likely wouldn't have. But then her wife had sat with her in the middle of the night and listened to her tale of what had happened while they were all missing and how it still haunted her. It had been a real turning point for them, especially when Arizona had suggested they bring their bed back and actually share it. While Callie could barely wait for the next day when they would be doing just that, in the meantime, she knew she needed to continue to break down the barriers between them by being open and honest. Besides, so much of what had happened had to do with Arizona, not the least of which was the final thing she had discussed with the lawyer. She could only hope that Arizona would take it all in stride. "Well, work was rough and I almost missed the appointment with the lawyer. Hunt wanted me to stick around for a car accident that was coming in, but I told him that I'd already rescheduled this a few times and Mark's estate had to be settled. Why he chose me as his executor is beyond me."

"Because you were his best friend and the mother of his child. Who else was he going to ask?"

"Derek?"

Arizona rolled her eyes and shook her head with a slightly amused smile on her lips. "Callie, just because you hate doing it doesn't mean you aren't the right person for the job. Or really the only person for the job. While he and Lexie weren't together, you were pretty much all he had."

"I know," Callie said with a long sigh.

"So?"

She let out a deep breath. "Well, the long and short of it is this. He left us, as in you and me, all his real property—his apartment, car, furniture, that vacation cottage he bought last year as an investment. It's all ours."

"Wow, did you know he was going to do that?"

"Not a clue." Callie had been incredibly surprised when the lawyer had sprung that on her. "Now, the down side of it is that we'll have to pay taxes on it. But I guess if we just sell everything that will take care of that and we can put the rest into an account for Sofia."

Arizona nodded, but there was a far off look in her eye. Then the corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "Maybe we could keep the cottage? I wouldn't mind having a little vacation place nearby and we could rent it out."

Callie smiled brightly, excited more about her wife's interest in planning for the future than the prospect of owning a rental property. "We can talk about it later when we get more information on everything, but that might be something that would be fun."

"Deal. Anything else?"

"He had a few really nice life insurance policies, all with accidental death riders, so the values were actually doubled. And he had quite a few investments. I knew he was a little into playing the market, but it turns out he found a great broker and was doing very well." She bit at her lip and then let out a quiet laugh. "I made sure to get the broker's name and number."

"Sounds like we might need it between all this and whatever settlement we get from the crash."

"Yup. So, anyway, all that money gets split between Sofia and Sloan. Sofia's money can be used for education only until she's twenty-five or graduates from college. We can use it for private schooling expenses, too, if we want. It doesn't have to be saved for college. But anything that is left is hers, like I said, when she either graduates from college or turns twenty-five." Callie laughed. "Poor Sloan has to either graduate from college or turn thirty."

"Well since I can almost guarantee she won't graduate from college, I guess she'll be waiting quite a while."

"She gets a little stipend every year to take care of her. Seems Mark was sending her money so it just continues that until she can get the trust fund." Callie shrugged. "So, that's pretty much the gist of it."

"Well," Arizona drew out quietly as she concentrated on her glass of wine, "I guess it's nice to know that Sofia is taken care of." Her voice got a little tight as she said, "But you know, I'd live in a skanky motel room the rest of my life if it meant he was still here."

Callie instantly reached out and put her hand on Arizona's arm. Arizona looked up with just the smallest hint of shock in her eyes, which soon gave way to a sad smile. "Me, too," Callie replied. She then felt a little nervousness play in her stomach as she thought back to what she and the lawyer had spoken about after the reading of the will. "Speaking of making sure Sofia is taken care of, there was one more thing, but it wasn't in his will."

Arizona's brow furrowed. "What?"

Callie swallowed hard. She wasn't sure how Arizona would react to the suggestion. "Well, the lawyer said he and Mark had discussed you adopting Sofia if he died."

"Oh," Arizona said, tears now welling in her eyes. She looked off over Callie's shoulder, obviously deep in thought.

"Arizona?"

Arizona's voice was barely a whisper when she finally spoke. "I used to worry so much about not being her legal parent. But we went to such lengths to guarantee my rights and I knew there was no way I would feel any different about her than you or Mark did."

"Of course. This wouldn't change anything about how you feel, but it would protect Sofia and your relationship to her." Now Callie felt her own eyes watering up. "You know it's all still so fresh and I hate to think about it, but if the last few years have taught us anything, it's that life can be incredibly uncertain and short. I want to know that if something ever happened to me you would have custody of her without a shadow of a doubt."

"Let's not think about that."

"But we have to, Arizona."

Arizona finally turned her eyes back to Callie. "I know." She let out a long sigh. "Having real rights to her that would be recognized by the law was always so much more than just a piece of paper to me. I just feel horrible that I can finally have something I wanted so much and it's only because Mark died."

"He wanted it for you and Sofia."

"That still doesn't make it easier."

"I know." Callie took the wine glass from Arizona's hand and placed both of their glasses on the coffee table before turning back to Arizona. She moved a little closer to her, not wanting to cross that invisible line they still had, but needing to really connect with her wife just then. When she took Arizona's hands in her own, she tried to offer a brave smile, even as she felt her own grief about Mark's death tighten around her heart. "We will always make sure Sofia knows how much her dad loved her. It breaks my heart that she won't ever remember him, but that's something we can't change, Arizona. All we can do now is make the best of what is left to us. And you adopting her is what's best for all of us. God forbid anything happens to either of us, but if it does, wouldn't you rather that at least your relationship with her is not something that needs to be worried about?"

"Of course," Arizona said as a tear slid down her cheek. "I'm not saying I don't want to adopt her. Just the opposite in fact."

"You just feel bad that you can now."

Arizona nodded, but didn't say anything.

Callie reached up to her cheek and wiped away the errant tears that were moistening her skin. Arizona didn't shy away and that brought a soft smile to Callie's lips. She really wanted nothing more than to pull Arizona into her arms then. _Maybe it's time._ She took a deep breath. "Arizona, can I hold you?"

Her blue eyes shot up then in shock. But it was only a few seconds before she let out a dry laugh. "How screwed up is this that you even have to ask?"

"It is."

Arizona looked down to where their hands were intertwined before looking back up. There was just the slightest hint of fear in her beautiful blue eyes, even as she smiled sadly. "I'd like that."

Callie let out a deep sigh of relief and smiled. "Come here," she said as she reached up and pulled Arizona into her arms. She felt like her heart was going to burst as Arizona tucked herself under her chin, her arms wrapping tightly around Callie. It felt so amazing to have her in her arms again and Callie couldn't help but smile and think that they still just fit so perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle. But still, this was about Arizona and focusing on her was what was important. There would be time later to enjoy this return to some level of intimacy. "It's okay to feel conflicted about this, Arizona."

"I miss him," Arizona said, her voice clenched tight with tears.

"Me, too. God how I miss him," Callie answered as she started to lightly rub Arizona's back, hoping that the familiar touch would help settle her wife.

They stayed like that for a few minutes as both of their tears slowly subsided. Finally, they found themselves just still holding on to one another for no other reason than that they wanted to. Or at least that was why Callie was still glad to have Arizona in her arms. She just hoped it was the same for Arizona. It had been almost two months since the last time she had been allowed to wrap her arms around her wife and now she felt like someone crawling out of the desert after a long trek without water. If she had her way, she probably would have sat there all night just enjoying this small return to something approaching normal in their relationship.

"Callie?" Arizona's voice was muffled against her shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I've been so distant and standoffish. I'm trying. I really am." She looked up then, eyes still shining from tears, and smiled hesitantly.

"I know." Callie leaned down then and kissed the crown of Arizona's head before letting her go. "Thank you for letting me hold you. It helped me."

Arizona laughed quietly and a hint of red came to her cheeks. "It helped me, too. I'm…" She trailed off with her voice just as she averted her gaze. After a few long breaths, she finally said, "I'm sorry that I still feel so uncomfortable."

"Arizona, no, it's okay. We're making progress, right? That's what's important." And Callie meant that. Sure, it felt like the repairs in their relationship were happening at some glacial pace sometimes, but there were improvements, a little bit every day, and that was what got Callie through and made her hopeful that things would be okay one day.

"It is." This time it was Arizona who took Callie's hands. "And I do want to adopt Sofia. Of course I do."

"It'll mean a home visit and a lot of paperwork. We'll have to talk to a lawyer and go before a judge. It will be rather intrusive."

"Of course. But it's worth it, right? Sofia is the most important person in our lives. She needs us to be there to protect her." She then rolled her eyes just a bit. "I guess we should start the paperwork soon, then, huh? Maybe by the time the home visit is scheduled I'll be walking better." She smiled more genuinely then. "I really hope my ability to chase after her isn't a deciding factor."

"Of course it won't be. They'll just want to know that you'll be an amazing mother and we both know you are, so no worries there."

Arizona nodded a little self-consciously. She then took a deep breath and nodded. "So, are you hungry? I made some pasta earlier and there's plenty left for you."

"Thanks," Callie answered as she started to get up, but Arizona's hand on her leg stopped her.

"No, you've had a long day. I'll do it. You relax."

Callie smiled brightly as she watched her wife get up slowly, making sure she had her balance before using the cane to slowly walk into the kitchen. She looked up then, her thoughts returning to Mark, and she smiled gently. _Thank you. I think you might have just given her something to really focus on that doesn't have to do with her leg or the accident. She needs that. We both need that._ She then looked back at Arizona, who was busy getting together a plate of food, and smiled. _Maybe this healing between us isn't so glacial anymore. We really are going to get there. I just know it._

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10: Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** Glad you guys mostly liked the last chapter (well except for the guest clearly has Mark …I think you just made up my mind on what to do for the epilogue, guest!). I wish they would cover that in the show (and the fact that they can now legally get married since the November election), but like so much of the story lately, it'll get left on Shonda's brain's cutting room floor I fear.

Anyway, on to another scene that I know you guys have been wanting. I hope I get it right and you enjoy. The chapter title is obviously from the song "Lady Marmelade" and was what Callie sang in a scene that was sadly cut from the gunman 2-parter in season 6 (she sang it to Ruby, the poor girl who needed surgery while the gunman was running around the hospital). It literally means "Do you want to sleep with me tonight". Kind of apropos.

Let me know what you think in comments or via PM. That always makes my day.

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**Chapter 10 – ****Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi**

Arizona was nervous. Nauseous to the point of forcing herself not to vomit nervous in fact. _This is stupid. We've slept in a bed together at least a thousand times. She's your wife and she's been so careful about boundaries. It's nothing, Arizona. It's nothing. _But the tight ball in her stomach and the way her heart was beating harder than normal told her it was anything but nothing.

Still as she sat on the couch, her eyes drifting from their bedroom door to the clock on their cable box that showed how late it was, she knew just how big this really was. They'd shared a few affectionate touches and Callie had been careful to say how much she loved Arizona often enough, but they still had so many steps on their way back to one another. And sharing a bed was a huge one on that journey. Not only because it was a sign of their marriage getting back on track, but because in sleep Arizona would be vulnerable with Callie in a way she hadn't been since the amputation. Her defenses would be down both figuratively and literally.

Arizona glanced over to Callie, who was picking at the blanket over her legs, her eyes fixed on the TV but it was clear she wasn't really watching. They'd both been acting awkwardly all day, ever since the delivery guys had removed the medical bed and put their own bed back. That was almost twelve hours ago, twelve hours of building tension between them as they did everything they could to not talk about sleeping in the same bed. And now as it was really getting late, there really was no avoiding it any longer.

As if her body were trying to tell her something, she yawned.

"Um, so," Callie started to say as she sat up on her end of the couch, obviously urged into action by Arizona's yawn. She looked over at Arizona, a hint of fear playing in her brown eyes. "How do you want to work this?"

_Sure, put it on me._ The slightly anger-filled thought made Arizona stop and push that aggravation down deep where it hopefully wouldn't bubble up again. She shook her head ever so slightly, hardly believing that her reactions still tended toward anger even after all this time. "Um, well, would you mind if I go change first?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," Callie rushed out, an uncertain tremor in her voice. "Actually, let me get my stuff and I'll run across the hall to wash up. I don't want to wake Sofia by using her bathroom. How about that?"

"Okay," Arizona said with a nod, relieved that Callie didn't seem overly offended by her request.

Callie turned off the TV and then disappeared into their bedroom. Arizona tapped her foot nervously as she watched the bedroom door out of the corner of her eye. Luckily Callie didn't take long to collect a few toiletries and her pajamas. She offered Arizona a small smile as she moved through the living area toward the front door, grabbing her keys from the table by the door as she did. Arizona watched her until she disappeared through the door, and then let out a deep breath. "Okay, come on, you can do this," she said to herself.

Walking with her cane had luckily gotten easier, so she was able to get into the bedroom and start her nightly routine. She quickly pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and top, frowning when she realized that she subconsciously picked the most covering pair she had. She looked at the long pajamas and shook her head, putting them back in the drawer and pulling out an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "Let's just jump all the way in, okay?"

She sat on the bed, pulling off her sweat pants and then removing the prosthetic, placing it near her side of the bed. She then quickly finished undressing and putting her sleepwear on. Once done, she sat there, looking down at her residual limb and sighing. She hated it, so much. And if she was disgusted by it, when she saw it multiple times every day, she could only imagine how Callie must feel about it. It was something they had only talked around, never directly, and Arizona was thankful for that. But she imagined it was something they would have to tackle sooner or later, and sleeping in the same bed might be the catalyst that would bring it up. "Damn it," she muttered.

"Arizona, you ready?"

"Can you give me a few minutes?"

"Okay," Callie said from just outside of their room. "I'll just go check on Sofia."

Arizona let out a long breath and then grabbed her crutches to help her into their bathroom. She quickly washed up and brushed her teeth, not wanting to risk Callie returning before she was finished. She then quickly hopped back out into the bedroom and pulled back the covers on her side of the bed. She slid in, glad that she was able to cover her legs with the quilt before Callie came back a second time. She sat propped up against the headboard, crossed her hands over her lap and waited.

"Ready?" Callie's voice questioned about a minute later.

"Yeah, sure," Arizona said quietly.

Callie came in with her clothes pilled in her arms. She smiled at Arizona before going into the walk-in closet to dump her clothes in the hamper there. She then came out and hesitated, a half-smile on her face. "This is a little awkward, huh?" she finally rhetorically asked, giving voice to what had been hanging between them all day.

Arizona couldn't help but laugh as she nodded. "Thank you for saying that. It's been like that all day."

Callie sat down on the bed but on top of the quilt. She just looked at Arizona for a few moments before saying, "If you're not ready, I can go back out on the couch. Maybe give you a chance to get used to our bed first?"

Arizona sighed as a huge wave of relief flooded over her. _She understands me so well._ She shook her head though, knowing that as nervous as she was she needed to do this. Putting it off would never make it easier. "No. We need to do this sooner or later and I want it to be sooner."

"Really?"

Arizona smiled then, although she was painfully aware how unsure it was. "Really. Now climb in." She hoped that her voice held more confidence in it than she felt.

Callie looked hesitant but then nodded before tossing the accent pillows from her side of the bed onto the floor and then climbing under the covers. Arizona couldn't help but notice that she was about as close to the far edge of the bed as possible. "Okay, then, here we are."

"Here we are," Arizona repeated, looking at Callie out of the corner of her eye. Her wife was sitting stiffly up in bed, eyes held forward like she was willing herself not to look with all her might. Arizona closed her eyes and pondered how absolutely ridiculous they were being. _How ridiculous I'm being is more like it._ She took a breath, about to say something, when instead she just laughed.

Callie's head shot around, a slight look of shock on her face. "What's so funny?"

"Us. Me. This is so crazy, isn't it?"

"It's not crazy, Arizona. I understand why you're nervous and why this is so hard."

Arizona stopped laughing and looked at her wife, really looked at her. She had been through so much in this whole thing, Arizona knew. Listening to Callie recount her nightmare had likely just scratched the surface of all the pain she'd been through. And yet here was Callie, always trying so hard to do what was best for Arizona, putting her own needs aside.

Callie was the wife that Arizona had failed to be for months, the wife Arizona had wondered for so long if she could ever be again. But she wanted that finally, wanted to try to be more supportive, more understanding. She knew it wouldn't be easy, and there would be so many missteps, but she needed to try, to put Callie's needs above her own as much as possible. They would never get past all the pain if she didn't. "I love you," she said, the words slipping out of her lips so easily it made her smile.

Callie's brown eyes were wide in surprise and her mouth fell open slightly. "Arizona," she breathed out.

Arizona felt a heat come to her cheeks. "I know I haven't said it in a long time. And I'm sorry." She felt emotion tickling the back of her throat and pushed it down, needing to say this all before she lost her nerve. "Even when I was furious and blaming you for everything, I never stopped loving you. I lashed out at you because I love you so much. I knew it was safe, that you wouldn't leave me just because I was a bitch for months."

"It wasn't months."

"It was months," Arizona said with a roll of her eyes.

Callie let out a soft laugh. "Okay, maybe two months."

Arizona smiled at the banter they were sharing. It was helping her feel more comfortable and for that she was grateful. "As usual, I'm right."

That brought out a loud laugh from Callie. "Oh but of course."

The laughter felt good and Arizona smiled brightly, sure that her dimples were on full display. On an impulse, she leaned over and gave Callie the quickest peck on her cheek. She pulled back quickly, surprised at herself and not quite ready for anything to develop from that. She saw the surprise in Callie's eyes, and it reminded her of another impulsive kiss long ago in Joe's bathroom. Just like then, she let out a lilting laugh and moved away. "Good night, Callie."

Callie's mouth moved, like she was trying to say something, but nothing came out. She then laughed and shook her head, obviously feeling a little embarrassed by her reaction. "Good night, Arizona. And I love you, too."

"I know." They shared a look for a moment before Arizona started to work her way down the bed so she could lie flat. Callie turned the light off on her bedside table and the bed shifted as Callie burrowed under the covers. They lay there for a few moments in the silence, Arizona just listening to Callie breathe next to her and she smiled. They'd made it this far and she knew, without a doubt, they'd continue to make it, however fast or slow that may happen.

She smiled in the dark, feeling the weight that had settled on her chest lift ever so slightly. She had dreaded this evening all day and really it had turned out to be one of the better nights in the last few months. There was more hope in her heart now than there had been that morning. And above all else, she was proud of herself for taking the plunge and opening herself up. It was progress. Real progress.

_Sweet dreams, Calliope. I love you. So very, very much._

TBC…

Next will be the morning from Callie's POV so we'll get a bit of both sides.


	11. Chapter 11 – In the Morning Light

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** So now we're on to the morning. This is probably getting them a little too far ahead in their relationship healing, but it's my story and I want some serious progress (and to finish this up soon)! Besides, I kind of figure that once they started to break the ice, things moved along pretty quickly up to a point, before it got stuck in another plateau. So, we're in the quick part.

Thanks for all the reviews and follows and such. I'm glad you all are enjoying this story and I love to hear your thoughts. So, keep it coming. Please!

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**Chapter 11 – In the Morning Light**

Callie couldn't help but stare. She knew that if Arizona caught her she risked an outburst. Even before the plane crash, Arizona had never been a fan of Callie watching her sleep. She had once told the story of how she had woken up one morning back in Baltimore to her girlfriend staring at her only to have her announce she was breaking up with Arizona before the blonde could even get the sleep out of her eyes. _Fucking idiot._ Callie had to admit she owed that idiot everything. Who knew if Arizona would have ever come to Seattle if she hadn't had her heart crushed that morning. And so Callie was eternally grateful.

_All those women who let you get away were idiots. How could they have given up the chance to wake up to you every morning? You're beautiful, smart, funny. And my God you are such a fighter. You fought so hard and I think after last night that you might finally be winning. You told me you love me._ The huge grin spread easily to her lips at the memory.

"You're staring at me," Arizona mumbled as she reached up and wiped at her eyes. One blue eye slowly edged open and looked up at her. "You know that makes me worry."

Callie smiled gently. "No worry. I was just…" She trailed off as she tried to gauge Arizona's mood, but she realized then that she couldn't trust her instincts when it came to her wife anymore. Arizona had acted so out of character for so long that Callie just wasn't sure what was normal anymore. But then she remembered how things had been improving in the last few days and she just had to trust in that, in the fact that her wife now finally seemed to want things to improve. "I was just thinking how grateful I am that you're here, that we're here together." Her voice caught on the emotion and she felt tears stinging at the corner of her eyes. She shook her head then, trying to cover up the emotion. "You know me, I'm just being silly."

Arizona's other eye opened and she just looked at Callie, her face inscrutable, for what seemed minutes. Finally, her eyes softened and the corner of her lip edged up into the hint of a smile. "Me too," she whispered.

"Really?" Callie winced a little at the uncertainty that crept into her voice. She shook her head and blew out a deep breath. "Sorry, I don't mean to doubt you."

"Yeah, you do." Arizona averted her eyes. "You should."

"Arizona…"

"No," she cut in quickly as she rolled onto her side and looked directly at Callie, her blue eyes filled with pain. "No, Callie, you should doubt me. I've given you nothing but reasons to doubt me."

Callie pushed herself up so that she was balanced on her elbow and could really look at her wife. "No, Arizona," she began, but then the words stuck in her throat. She let out a huge sigh and closed her eyes. "I don't blame you for acting like you have."

Arizona swallowed hard and rolled back over so that she was staring up at the ceiling. She worried at her lower lip, her fingers tapping in agitation on her stomach. "I'm sorry, you know."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

Arizona shook her head. "I—"

"Stop, okay?" Callie leaned over Arizona so that her wife was forced to look at her. "Just stop it. It's in the past. Yes, we need to talk about this stuff, but not this morning, okay? Last night was good for us and we're waking up together. Can't we just enjoy this morning together?" She let out a quiet puff of laughter. "After all, we've probably got five minutes until Sofia's up and I just want us to have some normalcy, okay?"

Arizona's eyes met Callie's and held them for a few moments. "Okay, we can just enjoy this." She smiled then, an easy smile that Callie hadn't seen on her face since before the crash. "Did you sleep well?"

Callie's smile came easily. "Yes. I never realized how much I love this bed until just this morning. I missed it." She felt a heat come to her cheeks and she hesitated before voicing her thoughts. "I missed you."

Arizona's eyes lowered and she rolled onto her side, which forced Callie to move back and lie down next to her. She watched as Arizona picked at the sheet, her eyes still focused away from Callie. Arizona swallowed audibly and then let out a sigh. Finally, she spoke, her voice so quiet Callie had to struggle to make it out. "I'm afraid, Callie."

Callie sucked in a breath of surprise at Arizona's admission. It wasn't a surprise that Arizona was afraid, Callie was certainly scared as well, but the fact she admitted it really stunned Callie. Callie reached out and put her hand over Arizona's, stilling her fingers from their nervous picking at the sheets. She ran her thumb over Arizona's fingers and waited for Arizona to react, which came in the form of a small yet sad smile. "What are you afraid of?"

"What am I not afraid of?"

"Talk to me," Callie prodded again.

Arizona's eyes glistened in the morning light as tears welled in her blue eyes. She blinked a few times and a tear finally trickled down her cheek and fell onto the sheets. "There's so much uncertainty in my life right now. Can I be the mother Sofia deserves? Can I be my old self?" She took a breath and then she looked directly at Callie, fear and hesitancy in her eyes. "Can I…"

The fear that flashed for a moment in Arizona's eyes gave Callie a very good idea of what she was going to say, but couldn't quite get out. It broke her heart that her wife would doubt herself so much, and worse that she would doubt Callie's feelings for her. But she knew if she jumped right in with the most personal fears, she might scare her off. "First off, of course you can be you again. You're still you deep inside. We all go through times when we don't feel like ourselves because of the shit life throws at us, and you've had more than your fair share. So, I get why you're afraid of not being the same, but I see you in there." She smiled. "The real Arizona is just playing an incredibly good game of hide and seek right now."

That brought out a light laugh from her wife. "That was always my game."

Callie laughed along with her as a memory tickled at her mind. "You want to know something funny?" When Arizona eagerly nodded, she smiled. "When I was little, my favorite place to hide was my parents' bedroom closet."

This brought out a louder laugh from her wife. "God, what a bad pun, Callie."

"Oh come on you know you fell in love with me for my corny sense of humor."

"That was part of it," Arizona said, a slight red coming to her cheeks as her laughter died.

Callie got serious, too. "But, seriously, you're in there. I'm not saying you'll ever be exactly the same. Neither of us will. After the car crash we weren't really the same either. Life changes people little by little, but I just want us to keep changing together, okay?"

There was a pause as Arizona regarded her and Callie wasn't sure what was going on in her head. She was afraid that Arizona didn't want that, even after all the healing they'd done in the last few days. But then Arizona whispered, "Me too."

Callie let out the quietest of breaths, not wanting to give away that she had been afraid of her wife's reaction. "Good. So that's one concern settled. As for being Sofia's mom, that little girl loves you so much. She lights up whenever you come into the room. All she needs is your love. So what if it's a few more months before you can chase her through the park? And who cares if some things require a little more patience or planning? Sofia doesn't, I guarantee that. She just wants you. Trust me, sometimes I think that's all she wants."

Arizona's eyes fell to the bed. "I know. I'm just being insecure. But it's scary that our toddler is going to be running when I can barely walk."

"I get that." Callie swallowed hard as she ducked her head down to try to catch her wife's eye. Finally Arizona looked up at her. "That's not what you're most scared of, though, right?"

"Callie, don't…"

"Let me say something, okay? Please?"

Arizona looked at her for a few long seconds, such doubt and fear playing in her eyes that Callie was sure if her wife could have easily fled she would have. That had to only heighten her wife's unease. But finally, her head lowered in resignation. "Okay."

Callie took a deep breath to settle the pounding in her heart, but it barely worked. "I love you, Arizona Robbins. More and more every day. You are amazing and incredible and smart and funny and kind." Arizona's eyes held hers but there was just a hint of doubt in them, so Callie continued on. "And you're so beautiful. You take my breath away, do you know that?"

Arizona's eyes rolled. "Not anymore."

"Still," Callie countered quickly. "Your leg doesn't change that. Not one bit. Do you want to know what I think about when I see your leg? Do you?"

Arizona let out a long breath and shook her head. "Not really."

"Well, guess what, you're going to hear it, okay? And I know you probably won't believe me, not yet, but that's okay. Because I'm going to remind you as often as I can, as often as you need." She reached over and took Arizona's hand, squeezing it tightly until her wife's blue eyes focused on her and she nodded. "Good. Now you listen to me. When I notice your leg, which to be honest is less and less every day, but when I do, all I can think about is how amazing you are and how lucky I am that you're still here. You could have died, twice, probably should have in fact, and yet you're still here." She felt the emotion strangling her throat but swallowed hard so that she could get this out. "When I think about all you went through out there in those woods—the pain, the fear—"

"I was so sure I was going to die out there at the end," Arizona cut in but there was a faraway tone to her voice as if she were reliving a memory.

"But you didn't. You fought and you got Mark to fight."

"He died anyway," she said, this time louder as her eyes flashed up to Callie's.

"So? You made him want to live. You gave him a shot. We all got to see him one last time and Derek and I got to be there with him at the end." Callie took a deep breath to force the emotions down that that memory always brought on. "What I'm saying is, I almost lost you. I almost lost the one person in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So, yes, your leg does change what I think about you. It makes me so much prouder of you. It makes me so much more in awe of you. And, yes, it makes me love you more and more every damned day. I love your leg, to be honest, because without it, you'd be dead, and I don't think I could survive that." She felt tears trickle out of her eyes and onto her cheeks, but she didn't care. She needed Arizona to believe her, to understand how she felt, and if seeing her tears helped bring it all home, then all the better.

"Callie…" Arizona let out a long sigh before reaching up to wipe away the tears on her face. "I'm not sure I'm really ready to believe that, but not because I doubt you. I don't. I'm just not ready for it all, okay? It's going to take a while to sink in."

"Then I'll tell you every chance I can."

A silence settled between them then. Callie let it linger, not wanting to press her wife too much, and content that they were both still there together, inches away from one another. It felt good to just be able to be there with her, without all the hatred or awkwardness of earlier. There was still a level of sadness between them, and Callie certainly worried about where things would go. But she also finally had some real hope that they would get to the end of the tunnel. Finally, the light was getting brighter even if it still felt a long way off sometimes.

"Callie?"

"Yeah?"

Arizona's face was hesitant and she bit at her lip slightly. It was so clear that there was something warring in her head and Callie had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep herself from trying to fish it out. Finally, her wife's eyes seemed to clear just a little. "Would you kiss me?"

Callie let out a huge sigh of relief as a bright smile spread over her lips. "Of course," she said as she moved closer. She hesitantly reached up to touch one soft cheek, her smile gentling when Arizona's eyes closed in reflex. "I love you," she breathed out as she leaned in and let her lips brush Arizona's. It was a feather light kiss at first and then she pulled away ever so slightly before returning to press her lips a little harder against her wife's. Callie willed all the love she felt, all the hope and want and need, into that one simple kiss. It never got heated, but remained just insistent enough to hopefully let Arizona know exactly what was in her heart.

Callie broke the kiss well before they needed to come up for air, wanting to leave it sweet and caring without becoming too overwhelming. She pulled her head back just enough so that she could focus on Arizona's eyes, eyes that radiated in the light coming from the living room windows. Arizona smiled, causing those blue eyes to light up even more, and she whispered, "I love you, too."

Callie opened her mouth to say something just as a cry came in through their bedroom door. "Perfect timing," she said with a chuckle as she leaned back further. To be honest, she was partially grateful for the distraction. This morning had been about as close to perfect as she could hope, but any longer and things would likely get awkward. Right now they needed to be getting comfortable with one another again, not feeling like they didn't know how to react to one another.

"Impeccable."

Callie sat up and stretched her neck, feeling a slight pop as she did. "I'll get her up and dressed. Do you want to start some breakfast?"

Arizona smiled. "Of course."

Callie got out of bed and started through the door, but then stopped and turned around, marveling at how truly stunning Arizona was. She felt a slight rush of desire hit her and she had to let out a breath to quell it. "You know what?"

Arizona looked at her, a slightly unsure quirk to her eyebrow casting a playful tone to her face. "What?"

Callie let a bright smile come to her lips. "You really are beautiful." She then turned on her heel, not waiting for a reply, and headed off to get their daughter up with just a slight self-satisfied smirk on her face at the momentary look Arizona had given her. "You might not believe it now, but you will eventually," she whispered to herself as she walked into Sofia's room to find their daughter standing in her crib with a big smile on her face. "Good morning, big girl!"

TBC…


	12. Chapter 12 – Red Light, Green Light

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** I know I should be writing Place, but I want to try to knock this story out really quick. I have what I think is an awesome idea for an alternative to what is obviously a lousy season ending for Calzona and want to get to that but don't want to have 3 stories going at once, at least not for long. I'll get back to Place soon, I promise.

I intended for this chapter to end totally differently, but after tonight's episode, well I needed a better ending than I'd planned. And then I realized it's actually hopelessly ironic, and kind of sad really, but oh well. Just pretend you didn't see that eyesore of a scene at the end of the episode this week and go with the happy and the hope I'm giving here. In my 502 Stories world, things would of course end up differently.

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Red Light, Green Light**

Sofia's soft pats to her face as they exited the elevator made Callie smile at her daughter. "You are definitely in a good mood. Me, too. Today was a good day. I rebuilt a man's leg and mama called. She's making us dinner. We're having spaghetti and meatballs, which means you're going to need a really big bath later after you end up wearing all that sauce, but it's worth it."

Sofia kicked her legs happily and started babbling nonsensically. As they approached their apartment door, she leaned out toward it, obviously excited to be home. "Yup, as always, you just want to be home with mama, huh?"

Callie pulled her back close to her body and fished her keys from her purse. As she pulled them out she heard a loud crash from inside the apartment. "Uh oh," she said with a sigh as the crash was quickly followed by a loud frustrated cry from her wife. "Okay, maybe not such a good day," she muttered, taking a deep breath as she turned her key in the lock and opened the door.

She didn't see Arizona right away, but could see steam rising from a pot on the stove and could smell the pasta sauce cooking. "Arizona?" she called out hesitantly.

There was no answer but then Callie could hear quiet crying coming from the kitchen. She went over and put Sofia down on the carpet before turning toward the kitchen. "Arizona, are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay," her wife bit back harshly. As Callie walked around the breakfast bar, she found Arizona on the floor, shards of broken dishes around her. She was pulling at her leg frantically, clearly trying to tear it off. "Piece of shit," she yelled out as she ripped the Velcro strap off the socket.

Callie knelt down and reached out to stop Arizona's hands. "Please, just take a deep breath, okay?"

Arizona looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes brimming with tears as she pushed her hands away. "Take a deep breath? Take a deep breath? Really? You have no idea." She finally pulled her leg free and tossed it across the kitchen harshly. "I don't want it anymore. I don't want any of this." She started to shake then as tears fell heavily down her cheeks. "I don't want it anymore," she repeated in a shaking whisper.

"Arizona," Callie said quietly as she again tried to reach for her wife. "Please, let's just go into the living room, okay?"

Arizona used her right leg to push herself away from Callie, but then cried out in pain. She reached back and pulled a jagged piece of plate from behind her, tossing it against the wall so that it shattered into small pieces.

The noise caused Sofia to cry out and start screaming and Callie sighed heavily. _Great. Just fucking great._ She looked at Arizona for a moment, seeing the pain and even anger playing in her light blue eyes. When she got like this there was little she could do or say, so instead she got up and went out to where Sofia was sitting in the middle of the floor, crying loudly. "Hey, baby girl, it's okay," she said as she reached down and swept her up into her arms. She bounced her for a few moments, which seemed to sooth her, and then wiped the wet tears from her face. She leaned in to her ear and whispered, "It's okay. Mama's just having a little hard time right now. She'll be better in a little bit."

She placed their daughter back down on the floor and went over to get her favorite set of building blocks. She brought them to the toddler and waited for a second to get her playing before she stood up with a shake of her head. She wasn't sure how to handle this. She had tried the harsh love tactic and she had tried to placate her wife's temper tantrums and neither ever seemed to work. It was just so frustrating to not know how to help Arizona. She let out a slow breath and walked back into the kitchen, reaching over to turn off the burners on the stove before going over to grab Arizona's prosthetic and bringing it to her. She knelt down and held it out to her, "Please."

Arizona looked up at her and seemed like she was going to be obstinate. A few moments slowly ticked by as they just stared at each other, neither giving way. Then Arizona rolled her eyes and held out her hand. Callie handed her the leg and then stood up, knowing how much Arizona hated to have Callie see her when she was putting it on or removing it. "I'll wait for you in the living room."

Callie went back out into the living room and picked Sofia up, moving her over toward the far couch and then gathering up her blocks so that Arizona wouldn't have anything to trip over when she came into the room. Callie sat down on the floor with Sofia and played with her while she waited. There was little sound from the kitchen for a few minutes and then she heard the pieces of dishware move around on the floor. Finally, Arizona used the counter to pull herself to a standing position. She then slowly walked around the breakfast bar, using it to steady her as she crushed a few pieces of the dishware as she went. When she got to the point where she had to let go, she stopped and Callie watched out of the corner of her eye as she took a few steadying breaths. Finally, Arizona took a step and then another. Each one was painfully slow and she had to hold her arms out to keep her balance, but each step seemed just a little more sure until she finally made it to the other couch, falling onto it heavily.

Callie finally was obvious in looking up at Arizona as she stood and then sat on the other couch, pulling her legs up under her as she did. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Arizona's eyes rose slowly to meet Callie's. "No, not really."

"What happened?"

"I fell, Callie. What do you think happened?" Arizona shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "I can't even get dishes out of the cabinet anymore. How ridiculous is that?"

"It takes time," Callie tried gently.

"That's so easy for you to say, Callie. You can walk. You can go to work and carry Sofia around. You don't need a chair to take a shower." She shook her head again as her eyes went toward the ceiling, obviously trying so hard not to break out into renewed tears. "I can't be a surgeon or even a mother right now. Sometimes I think I never will."

Callie's heart felt like it was being crushed as she wanted nothing more than to take her wife's pain away, but there was nothing she could do. She hadn't been able to find a way for her wife to keep her leg and now there was certainly no way she could fix what had been taken from her. It made her feel like such a failure all too often. If there was one thing she should have been able to do, it was find a way to save Arizona's leg. Now the only thing she could offer was support, and love, and the truth. The truth was something she hadn't given her when she should have, but Callie had sworn to herself and to Arizona to never make that mistake again. "Yes, Arizona I can walk and I can stand in an OR or go on rounds. I can carry Sofia around. And I remember all too well how horrible it was when I couldn't do those things. I learned to walk again and I got strong enough to carry Sofia. I got my coordination back enough to be able to work and everything got better, but you know how long that took and how much hard work went into it. And, yes, it's even harder for you, I know. But you'll get back to doing all of those things. I promise. You just can't let it beat you."

Arizona stared at her as a mix of emotions swept across her face—anger, pain, sadness. It was so hard to see her seeming so down after the last few days when Arizona had finally seemed to have some hope again. Now all the sparkle that had returned to her eyes was gone and it was like Arizona had taken one step forward and two or three steps back. Finally, she spoke, her voice sounding tight with emotion. "It's already beat me, Callie. It beat me when that damned plane crashed. It beat me when I looked down and saw my bone sticking out of my leg. It beat me when I woke up and that leg was gone. And it beats me every time I fall or stumble." She started to stand but then sat back down heavily, her head falling into her hands. "I can't even get up and storm out of the room."

Callie was across the room before she had a chance to stop and think about it. "Hey, hey," she said as she sat next to her wife, her hands reaching out to take Arizona's so she couldn't hide her face any more. "You are not beaten, Arizona. You are not. Do you hear me?"

"Callie, don't," Arizona said with a low warning tone to her voice. She pulled her hands from Callie's grip and slid down the couch until she was at the far end. "You can't make this better with a pep talk."

Callie felt frustration flare in her and she stood, walking into the kitchen without saying another word. She pulled open the trash can, knelt down and started picking up the pieces of dishware on the floor. She stood up when she had most of them and slammed the shards into the garbage. She looked over at her wife, who hadn't moved an inch, and balled her fists in frustration and anger. "You don't want a pep talk? Well, then, fine. I'll give you the truth, Arizona. The God's honest truth. You are beaten, because you're letting this beat you. You didn't just lose your leg, you've lost yourself. You have control over that, Arizona. You may not have had any control or say in losing your leg, but you have a say in this. If you want to fight back, then fight back. Get your life back. It's not impossible. It's just hard. And the Arizona I know doesn't let hard stop her."

For a minute, Callie thought she had gotten through to her. Arizona sat, her eyes focusing hard off in front of her, breaths coming in steady strong pulls. She could almost see the wheels turning in her head. But then she shook her head and stood up. She stood there for a moment before she looked at Callie with sad eyes. "This is too hard," she said softly before starting her slow, unsteady steps toward the bedroom.

When the door fell closed behind Arizona, as if she didn't even have the energy to slam it in anger, Callie sighed heavily as tears started trickling down her cheek. She looked down at Sofia, who was looking up at her with wide brown eyes. She went over to her daughter and picked her up. She sat on the couch and then turned Sofia so they were facing each other. "Someday, you're going to understand how amazing your mama is and how much she fought to get her life back, because she will. She's just tired right now. No one can be that strong all the time, but tomorrow will be better."

Sofia reached up and grabbed at the heart necklace hanging around Callie's neck. She laughed then as she smiled up at her mother. "Mama," she said quietly. It was one of the few words she knew and it always brought a smile to Callie's face when she said it. Sofia then put her hand up near her mouth in the sign language they had taught her to use when she was wanted food.

"Hungry, huh?" Callie put her back onto the floor and went into the kitchen. Dinner was not going to happen, and to be honest she wasn't hungry. She suspected Arizona wouldn't want to eat either, so she just decided to get a bowl of Cheerios together for Sofia and brought that with a sippy cup of water so that she could just eat in the living room. Then Callie went over to the bedroom door and listened carefully. She wasn't sure, but she thought she could hear Arizona crying. She almost let it go, unsure of whether Arizona would want her to make another effort, but then she threw caution to the wind and knocked. "Arizona?"

There was only a short pause before Arizona answered. "You can come in."

Callie pushed the door open and looked in to find her wife in bed, her prosthetic off and the covers pulled up to her waist. Her eyes were bright red and swollen now. "Arizona…"

"I'm just so jealous, Callie," she said. Arizona took a shaking breath and then blew it out slowly. "I feel like all I do is lose. My leg, my brother, Mark." A sob shook her as more tears spilled out of her eyes. "Nick."

Arizona hadn't mentioned Nick at all since the crash and Callie had never wanted to bring him up, afraid that it was all too much. So, the mention now took her by surprise. "Arizona?"

"His sister called today. He died last week."

Callie moved around the bed quickly and sat down on the edge. She didn't care what her wife might want, she knew what she needed. She pulled her into her arms and held her as sobs shook Arizona over and over again. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

They sat there like that with Callie stroking Arizona's hair as her sobs continued until finally she quieted. A few moments later Arizona pulled out of Callie's embrace, wiping at the tears that dampened her face. "Thank you."

"I'm here for you, Arizona. Always." She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Arizona's ear, only realizing what she was doing after it was done. She smiled a little when it didn't seem to bother her wife. "I know how important he was to you and you're right. You've lost so much, more than anyone ever should. But you still have me. I'm not going anywhere. And you've got Sofia. I know that doesn't make up for the losses, but you haven't lost everything, I promise."

Arizona swallowed hard and shook her head. "I don't deserve you. I don't."

Feeling emboldened, Callie placed her hands on Arizona's cheeks and leaned toward her a little to make sure she had her undivided attention. "Arizona, of course you deserve me. And I deserve you. And we deserve to fight for one another, especially through the hard times. That's what a marriage is. I never once doubted that. Things just got bad is all. Today was bad, tomorrow will probably be better. And there will still be bad days down the road, for both of us. But I'm not giving up on you or us, okay?"

Arizona nodded as a sad smile crept onto her lips. "Thank you. And I'm not giving up on us either. We'll be okay someday, right? It's just like my leg. It'll take time." There was just a little lift to her voice that made it sound like it might be a question.

Callie's smile was broader, brighter. "Exactly." She paused for a moment and just took in Arizona's face, her eyes that shone a bit brighter now, the smile that was a little easier. She couldn't help but think how truly beautiful she was and how lucky she was to have her wife still there, alive if not totally whole. But Callie knew that she'd get there—not necessarily physically, but emotionally—and she would be there with her every step of the way. "I love you, Arizona," she whispered.

"I love you, too," Arizona answered as she leaned closer until their lips were only a few centimeters apart. "Thank you."

Callie chuckled quietly. "Anytime," she breathed out before closing the distance between them. The kiss started gently, lovingly, but it slowly started to deepen. Arizona's hand went up to tangle into her hair, pulling them ever closer to one another. Then, just as Callie let her tongue snake out to run along Arizona's lower lip, Sofia cried out from the living room, causing them both to break out into laughter.

"She's got the worst timing," Arizona said.

"Seriously," Callie replied as she let out a deep breath. She bit at her lip to stop the tingling that made her want nothing more than to kiss Arizona again and again and then let out a deep breath. "You want some dinner? I can heat up the chicken from last night."

Arizona's demeanor shifted again, and she seemed to lose a little of the brightness that she had found only minutes before. "No, really I'm not hungry. Actually, I kind of just want a little time alone. I…"

"I get it," Callie said. "You just found out about Nick. You need a little time to grieve."

"I do."

"If you need me, you let me know. I can just sit here with you or hold you or whatever you need. I'll go put Sofia to bed and then I'm all yours." She took Arizona's hand and ran her thumb over the soft skin. "Let me be there for you."

Arizona's eyes fell to their conjoined hands. "I'll call you when I'm ready, okay?"

Callie nodded. "I'll be waiting." She leaned in and kissed Arizona's cheek, giving her a final smile before leaving her alone and returning to the living room.

Sofia looked up at her, letting out a half-hearted cry that was obviously only meant to get attention and wasn't brought on by any real need other than attention. "You, my little one, need to learn some better timing." She chuckled quietly as she picked the toddler up. "Now, let's get you cleaned up and in bed so that when your mama needs me I can be there for her, because I promised, and you know how I am with promises now. They're very important. Very, very important."

Sofia giggled and patted Callie's face before leaning in and giving her mommy a noisy kiss on her lips.

Callie giggled along with her. "You're so silly," she said as they headed off to Sofia's bedroom. "So, so silly."

TBC…

A/N: Yes Arizona saying "I don't deserve you" is just so wrong after this last episode, but I had to write it. I'm living in my little world of fan fiction-filled denial.


	13. Chapter 13 – Coming to Terms

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** When I started this story, I intended on just filling in the gaps and getting them from the American Bake Off scene to Arizona going back to work, but in light of the whole cheating thing I want them to have been happier back in the Fall than we saw. And I want them to have seen and fixed the problems that I think led to that horrible decision by Arizona. But that's the point of fanfic, right? To see what we want but haven't and to fix problems the way we want. So, I'm changing my goals for this story (and it's resulted in this really long, ambitious scene). If this had really happened, there's no way they'd be where they are today.

This one is a little rough in parts (if you're prone to crying you might want some tissues nearby), is incredibly emotional, but is SO worth it in the end. It's the last chapter before the epilogue, so it kind of has to be a microcosm of their journey I think.

Let me know what you think. I've loved all your comments and PMs along the way even though I often don't have time to let you all know individually how much they mean to me. They make all the hard work on this so worth it.

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Coming to Terms**

Arizona looked at her watch and wondered where Callie could possibly be. Arizona had been back from the hospital for over an hour. While she was there, she had gotten the feeling that Callie knew she was there from hints that Bailey had dropped during their consult. But the daycare had never called to ask when someone would be in to get Sofia, so it was clear that Callie had been done with her lawsuit meeting and had picked up their daughter a while ago and yet she hadn't come home yet. Arizona hoped it wasn't because she was avoiding coming home and more so that she wanted to make sure Arizona was home and settled first.

As if her thoughts could make it true, she heard Callie's key in the lock and then her wife and daughter came through the door. "Hi you two," she said to them from where she was sitting in the living room in her wheel chair. "Did you guys have a good day?"

"We did," Callie said. She put Sofia down and pulled the toddler's jacket off just as Sofia started to move off toward Arizona. "At least I know I did. Grace in the daycare said little Miss Sofia was just a bundle of joy today."

"Of course she was." Arizona then looked down to where Sofia was now standing next to her. "You're always a bundle of joy, right? You're our happy little girl." She reached down and pulled her up onto her lap, giving her daughter a big, noisy kiss that made her giggle. "I missed you." Her eyes went back up to Callie. "Both."

"Yeah, we missed you too. How was your day? You seem to be doing well."

It was obvious from Callie's tone that she was a little surprised by that, and Arizona had no doubt why. In the two weeks since Nick's sister had called to tell her he died, she had fallen back into a darker place with only a few rare moments of the hope she had been feeling shortly before that. And she knew that it had taken a toll on Callie to have to deal with that yet again just when it had seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But now she suddenly was feeling better, and she wanted Callie to really know that. Callie didn't need to be walking on egg shells with her anymore. Arizona looked over at her and then just shook her head, but an amused smile started peaking onto her lips. "You know. Don't pretend you don't."

"Know what?"

Arizona rolled her eyes and looked down at Sofia. "Mommy is a lousy liar, Sofia. I so hope you got those genes so you won't be able to hide anything from us when you're a teenager." She then looked up at Callie. "You know I was at the hospital to consult with Bailey."

"Oh that." Callie waved it off with her hand as if it were nothing. She walked into the kitchen. "Did you eat?"

"Hey, that was a big thing," Arizona said, now kind of hurt that Callie didn't seem to think it was important.

Callie stopped and gave her a full-blown smile that lit up her face. "Of course it's a big thing." She came over and knelt down next to Arizona's chair. "I just didn't want you to think I thought it was a big thing if you didn't think it was." She stopped as if to ponder the words that just came out of her mouth. "I think that makes sense. Anyway I'm glad you went in. How'd it go?"

Arizona shrugged then, feeling suddenly self-conscious about the fact that just going into the hospital was such an important step in her recovery. She felt a heat come to her cheeks as she looked down at Sofia. "It was good, I guess. I mean, it was weird to see some people I knew and I felt like some of them were staring, but meeting with Bailey was great. I think we really came up with a sound treatment plan for her patient."

"That's great. Have you thought about going back to work at all?"

That was a topic they always sort of talked around, mostly in future terms as one of the far off goals of her recovery. But now Arizona was starting to think that it might not be quite so far off after all. "I told Bailey if she or anyone else has any questions, they can call."

"What about actually going back to work? I know everyone in Peds would so much rather work for you than Dr. Florida Tan." Callie got up and moved over to sit on the couch next to Arizona's chair, her eyes never leaving her wife.

"I really can't until I can at least confidently walk short distances without the cane. I can't be worried about falling down all the time and I need to be able to stand and move around the OR. If I can't do that I can't operate." She shifted Sofia a little in her lap when her daughter started kicking at her left thigh, making her feel really uncomfortable. "But that gives me a good concrete goal, right?"

"Right." Callie's eyes sparkled . "What does David say about that?"

"He says maybe two or three weeks and I might be able to go back part time with no long surgeries. I'll need to take it easy and build up slowly." She had to admit the more she thought about it, the more she was looking forward to it, at least parts of it. "I'm just not sure I'm ready for all the attention and whispering, though."

"Arizona."

That tone of voice that Callie used when she was trying to tell Arizona she was being ridiculous was getting a little old by now, but at least Arizona knew she meant well. It wasn't that long ago that Arizona had a hard time seeing that, but now she understood that her wife was just trying to get through to her, especially when she was being a little stubborn or hopeless. It was obvious how much it frustrated Callie and yet she continued to try to buck Arizona up, and that meant so much. Arizona was fully aware she had made life incredibly difficult and sometimes even downright painful for Callie in the last few months and yet she was still there, being supportive, day in and day out. She wasn't sure she could love her more, even if she still found it hard to express that in the way she wanted to. "I know," she said with a quiet sigh. "I know people are just interested that I'm doing better or fascinated about the woman with the prosthetic. I know my tiny humans will probably think it's cool and robotic and all that. But it's all just a reminder of something I just wish I could forget, but never will be able to."

"No, you won't be able to forget it. You're going to have to come to terms with it instead."

She let out a deep sigh as that feeling of being trapped in her life returned. Sometimes she wondered if Callie even really remembered her own reactions to the car accident. It was like that was just a distant memory and she didn't remember how scared she was of being in a car, especially with Sofia, and how any reminder of the accident had caused her stress for months afterward. And she had come out of the accident basically in one piece. She certainly did not have a huge physical reminder that would never heal like Arizona did. And so it frustrated her when Callie seemed to just make it sound like all Arizona had to do was decide to be okay with it all and everything would be fine. "Every night I dream about it, Callie. I remember the terror and the anguish. I remember believing I was going to die and I would never see you or Sofia again. I remember feeling more alone than I've ever been in my whole life, even with the others around. And I remember having all this hope that things were getting better before waking up with my leg gone, with no real warning. That's a lot to come to terms with."

"It is, and it doesn't have to happen overnight." Tears started to prickle at the edge of Callie's eyes and she cleared her throat quietly before sliding a little closer to Arizona. "Will you tell me about it? Please? Especially what happened out there, but just tell me what happened, what you felt. Maybe that will help you process it a little or I'll be able to find a way to help. At least maybe I'll understand what you're facing. I can't help if I don't know."

Arizona's heart started racing as the thought of really sharing what happened out in those woods with Callie sunk in. She had promised her she would tell her on more than one occasion, but she had also always quickly moved on afterward so that she wouldn't have to follow through. Now, as they sat there in the living room, looking into each other's eyes, she knew she really couldn't put it off any longer. Like so much in her recovery, she was terrified to do it, but she knew she had to. They would never move forward until they both understood exactly where they were coming from. She looked down at the toddler on her lap. "Can you put her to bed? It's getting late for her. Then we can talk."

Callie nodded as she stood up. Arizona gave Sofia a few good night kisses before handing her over to her wife and then waved bye-bye to her as Sofia returned the waves before they disappeared into the nursery. Arizona then turned her wheelchair around so she could more easily get onto the couch. She moved over and slid up so that she was spread along half the couch with her favorite throw pillow in the small of her back. If she was going to have this very uncomfortable discussion, she might as well be as physically comfortable as possible.

Callie was only gone a few moments before she came out, shutting the door and then putting the baby monitor up on the kitchen counter. "Do you want anything? Water? Wine? Something stiffer?"

Arizona looked up and gave a much needed chuckle. "Just some water is fine."

Callie reached into the fridge and grabbed two bottles. When she came over to give Arizona her bottle, she seemed surprised when Arizona patted the couch down near her hip. "You sure?"

Arizona nodded. "We used to sit and talk like this all the time." Callie nodded as she climbed onto the other end of the couch, sitting a little more upright than normal. Arizona figured it was so that her legs wouldn't reach past Arizona's knee and she was grateful for that sentiment. Her left leg still hurt if jarred and she certainly didn't need that on top of all the emotional pain that was about to come.

Finally Callie pulled the blanket down off the back of the couch and spread it out over them. "Comfy?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, this is nice." Arizona opened her bottle of water and took a sip before starting to run her thumb over the ridged bottle as she tried to ground herself with the soothing regular motion. She finally let out a shuddering breath and figured it was time to start. "So, we were flying right along and then there were these loud noises in the back of the plane and we suddenly started dropping like rock. Jerry, the pilot, called back to tell us to put our lap belts on and that was when I got really scared." She closed her eyes and tried to push that fear out of her by breathing slow and steady, but her heart still had started to speed up and pound harder. It was likely a losing cause.

Arizona swallowed hard before continuing. "Everything went so fast thing. They always say things like that happen slowly, but for me it was really quick. I was terrified we were going to crash and all be killed. And I just kept my eyes closed and tried to think of you and Sofia. If I was going to die, I wanted you both to be my last thoughts. I was so heartbroken to have to leave you and I was angry, too. Really, really angry. It just wasn't fair, after everything we'd been through." She had felt so cheated as they fell from the sky and had shook with every breath, expecting it to be her last. She remembered everything so viscerally this time, her body starting to shake just as it had then.

Callie nodded and gave the barest hint of a brave smile that Arizona recognized as being for her sake, but the tears welling in her eyes told the real story. "I can't even imagine how terrifying that was for you. It's scary enough for me to think about what life would have been like if you had died. I'm not sure what I would have done, how I would have lived through that. I would have, for Sofia, but it just seems so impossible." She then took a deep breath and Arizona saw her shake on the exhale. "I thank God every chance I get that I didn't have to find out."

Arizona bit at her lip to keep her emotions from overwhelming her. She took a deep breath and then resolved to herself that she would get through this. She went on, first telling Callie about waking up screaming and in pain, how awful it was to see her leg like that and the deep worry when she began spitting up blood. She recalled the despair that crept up over the days and nights in that damned piece of fuselage and felt that hopelessness sink over her for a moment at the memory. She recounted how Mark's heart had stopped at least once every day leaving only Cristina and Meredith to find ways to bring him back, how hard it had been to get him to even want to live without Lexie, how they had run out of water, and how they had been forced to drink their own urine just to survive. And then finally she whispered about the nights, the unending dark and cold without fire and the chilling quiet that would suddenly be broken when the animals would come to rip Lexie's body limb from limb. Callie listened silently, her eyes never leaving Arizona and her face kept in a stoic façade, but as Arizona's litany of pain spilled forth one after the other after the other that control broke down into painful gasps and tears.

She swallowed hard as she looked up into Callie's face, seeing the horror and fear, the pain and sadness under the puffy red eyes and tear-drenched cheeks. She was almost done and she just needed to push the last little bit out, but sometimes she thought that was the worst of it all, because by then she had truly lost hope. "I remember thinking that last morning that it was probably the last day I'd ever see, the last sunrise with all those beautiful colors that glanced through the trees, the last morning dew that made the world sparkle like jewels. It was like it was a sign from nature or God or whatever that that was the last day of my life and so here was this final gift of beauty before it all ended. I looked down at Mark in my lap and he was so pale and barely breathing and I knew he'd likely go first and I doubted this time he could be brought back. By then I kind of wanted that for him, for his struggle to end, because it was just so hard to watch. I looked out to see Derek propped up against a log and the pain he had worn on his face the whole time was gone now as if his body was shutting down and he didn't feel it anymore."

Arizona wiped at the tears filling her eyes and finally had to look down, not able to take the pain in Callie's eyes anymore. "That's what happens, that's what was happening to me. I had been in such agony for days and suddenly it was seeping away. It was a relief, but a terrifying one, because I knew it was just the beginning of everything turning off, of my life ending out there in those damned woods. I'd fought for four days and it was all going to be for nothing. That day was going to be the day I died, I probably wouldn't even get the gift of a final sunset, and the sad thing was no one would have even known. You wouldn't have known what day was my last, how long I'd fought to stay alive just so I could come back. When they found us, if they ever did, the animals and the weather would have taken their toll, and it would have been impossible to know how long we'd all fought to come home. I had given everything I had to come back to you and you wouldn't have even known."

"I would have known," Callie whispered. "You couldn't have done anything else, Arizona. I knew the whole time that if you could, you'd fight like hell to come home. I knew."

The tide of tears she had been holding under a thin layer of control flowed out then, crashing over her in shuddering sobs. She didn't even realize when Callie come over and wrapped her tightly in her arms, climbing onto the couch behind Arizona and rocking her gently even as she sobbed, too. Time stopped as they held onto one another and just let all the pain and fear they had experienced out in waves of uncontrollable tears.

Finally, as they both quieted, Callie tightened her arms around Arizona and placed her lips next to her wife's ear. "You're here. You're here and you're safe now and you made it through. You got a second chance. We got a second chance. We can't let what happened win, Arizona. Keep getting stronger, go back to work, run a marathon or climb a mountain, do everything you ever wanted to do, okay? That's how you beat this, that's how you don't let it have that power over you that you're so afraid of. That is how you come to terms with everything."

Arizona sighed as she felt every word Callie whispered to her like a balm to the cuts and bruises that littered her soul. And with every word her resolve grew. She knew it wouldn't be perfect, there would be stumbles, but Callie was right. She couldn't let that plane crash win, she couldn't stay broken the rest of her life. She would heal what she could and find ways to get past everything else. And she had to remember she had an ally in this fight. She had her wife, who had stubbornly stayed by her side through everything, who had pushed and pulled and yanked her through it all, and who wanted nothing more than to just be there, with her, through their lives, through the good, the bad, and the unimaginable. She had so often taken Callie for granted, but right then it all became so clear that she had the greatest gift right there, holding her and comforting her and providing her all the strength she could.

She turned in Callie's arms and looked at her silently, searching her deep brown eyes for any doubt, any hesitation or fear, but she found none. Arizona's lips turned up into a smile. "I can do this, we can do this. I can go back to work and I can learn to walk without a cane. I can get strong enough to carry Sofia and be confident enough so I can run around with her in the park. I can get up every morning and just be me again with all the good and bad that comes with that. And I can love you. I can love you and Sofia every day for the rest of my life. I know it won't all happen tomorrow and there's still a lot left to fight through, but I can do it."

Callie's smile was dazzling and somehow seemed to grow with every sentiment. "You can. And I will be there to help however I can. I'd do anything for you, okay? We just need to do this together." She got a little more serious then. "And if you can't do it, you pretend until you can."

"Fake it until you make it?" That made her laugh and the break in all the emotion was really welcome.

"Exactly."

"Good advice." She reached up and wiped at Callie's cheeks, drying the tears from them and then smiling when Callie did the same for her. "One thing I won't ever have to fake is how much I love you."

"Me neither," Callie whispered as she pressed forward to give her a short but sweet kiss.

As Callie pulled back and seemed like she was going to extricate herself from the couch, Arizona put her hand on Callie's chest to stop her. They'd both done this so many times. They'd revealed something and then dropped back into their day-to-day lives like that revelation hadn't happened, and that was something that Arizona knew suddenly was holding them back. "No, don't go," she whispered. She waited for the few moments it took Callie to nod and relax, giving in to Arizona's request. "Let's not just act as if our lives are okay when they aren't, Callie. We've done that way too much lately."

Callie swallowed hard and titled her head to the side with a slightly confused look on her face. "We have?"

"Yes," Arizona said with a sigh. "We have these moments where we connect, where we talk for once, and then we both so want our lives to just be like they were, to go back to that time before the crash when life was happy and easy, so we get up and leave that moment behind to make dinner or play with Sofia. I'm not saying our mundane lives aren't important, that we can't just live most of the time, but we can't just have these breakthroughs and then file them away and pretend they didn't happen, that they weren't needed in the first place."

Callie nodded and then let out a sigh as her head fell forward until their foreheads rested against one another. "You're right. We've never been very good about really talking and listening I guess."

Arizona shook her head as a smile crept onto her lips. "Not at all. We need to pull off the band aid sometimes instead of letting it sit there until it just falls off. Because by then we've caused ourselves way more pain over way more time than needed. So, stay here with me and just acknowledge that we're both a little broken at this point and that's okay. Life doesn't have to go back to normal just yet, it may never, but we're here together and we love one another and we'll find our way if we just work together and be honest with one another, even if that hurts sometimes."

"Painful honesty, huh? You're not about to drop a bomb on me are you?"

Arizona laughed quietly. "No. I think hearing about how truly horrible the time out there was for me is enough for tonight. I don't think we need to lay it all out at once. I just want you to know that it's okay to bring up the pain now. I can handle it. Push me a little when I need it and I'll be honest with you about whether I'm ready or not. I'm not going to break, Callie. Not now."

Callie used her fingers to tilt Arizona's chin up so that they were looking at one another again. "Okay. We can fake it with others if we have to, if it gets us through the day, but never with one another."

"Good." Arizona smiled brightly. "Now, ask me what I need."

Callie's smile started hesitantly but then turned a little playful. "What do you need?"

"I need," Arizona began as her eyes moved to her wife's lips and she felt the flush of love and desire hit her. She cleared her throat. "I need to be kissing you," she whispered as she leaned in to do just that. Where their few previous kisses had been gentle, loving, and decidedly hesitant, this time there was no crying child to stop them from moving past that. And this time it was Arizona who pushed it just a little by cupping Callie's cheek and leaning into the kiss just as she let her tongue start to press past Callie's lips. There was just a moment of surprise from her wife before she moaned into the kiss and relaxed as she welcomed Arizona's advance. They took their time, reacquainting themselves with the ebb and flow of the intimacy of their kisses, gently finding the intimacy between themselves again.

And one kiss led to another and then another until Arizona happily lost count. It felt great to finally have left so much on the table, to feel like Callie understood where she was and where they both needed to go well enough that she could trust in their love again and open herself up to it. It was scary and exciting all at once and she wasn't under the illusion that she was ready for any more than this right then. There were still issues to talk out and trust in herself and in Callie to be found. And there was a need to feel comfortable, truly comfortable, in her body. But right then, as she placed a final kiss on Callie's luscious lips and then laid her head on her chest, smiling at the happiness and downright joy she felt in that moment, she felt a peace she hadn't known since before the crash. "That was what I needed."

Callie kissed the crown of her head and let out a light laugh. "I'm more than happy to offer that anytime you need it and as often as you want it."

"And what about what you want and need?" Arizona lifted her head to look at her wife, wanting to really see her wife's face as she answered.

"What do you mean?"

"Callie, don't put your feelings aside for me. Don't do only what you think I need or want. You can ask for things, too. And if I'm not ready, then I'm not ready, and I'll tell you that. I promise."

Callie didn't answer right away, but then finally nodded. "Okay, I can do that. Right now, what I want, is to be right here with you and enjoy that we've made it this far. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. We need to enjoy the victories along the way and savor them."

Arizona nodded. There was no need to rush things, as much as there was part of her that just wanted this long journey to be done with. If all the pain they'd gone through—the deaths of Mark and Lexie, the loss of her leg, and the difficulties that resulted between Callie and her—was to have any true meaning, each step needed to be taken in its turn and none before they were both ready. And an incredibly huge step had been accomplished just that evening on their living room couch. "We'll get there."

"I love you, Arizona," Callie whispered as she reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I…" Arizona paused and let a smile come to her lips. There was one last step she was ready to take just then, one last corner of her heart she was willing to open up, and she hoped one last salve to offer Callie for all the pain she had suffered. "I love you, Calliope."

Callie's eyes went wide as she sucked in a quick breath of surprise. Arizona watched as she swallowed before a smile spread onto her lips. "Thank you. You don't know how much I've missed that."

"Yeah I do," she replied with a light laugh to match her smile.

"Okay, yeah you do," Callie said with a nod before giving her a light kiss on the lips.

Arizona gave Callie a knowing nod before going back to lie on Callie's chest, her ear resting just above her wife's steadily beating heart. Callie pulled the blanket up over them and then wrapped her arms tightly around Arizona before letting out a contended sigh.

Arizona looked out over the apartment, her smile growing as she thought about how it had been so important the last few months. It had been their battleground and the cave they could hide in. It had been the solid ground she had learned to walk on again and the walls she could smash dishes against when she was frustrated. It had been the stage that housed the drama and comedy of their lives and the site of their reconciliation. It was the launching point for the adventure that was sure to be the rest of their lives together. At first, when she'd come home from the hospital, it had been filled with the ghosts of the past, of the life she was sure she could never have again and would always resent for mocking the shell she had become. But now, lying there on the couch in her wife's arms, she knew it was filled with so much hope and love. It wasn't just where they lived, it was truly their home.

"I broke the red vase on the couch table today."

"Did you throw it against the wall because it was so ugly?"

Arizona laughed, remembering back when they'd opened it after their wedding and how much she had not been a fan of the gift Callie's sister had mailed to them instead of coming to the wedding itself. Arizona hadn't really hated the vase, she had just called it ugly because she had been mad that Aria hadn't come. If she were being honest, it really was pretty, but she hadn't been honest back then, even though she knew Callie saw right through her. "No," she finally said with a smile on her face. "Bailey told me the chart was sitting outside and I got it into my head that I could make it from the bedroom to the door without my cane. I tripped and knocked it off the table."

"What did you do then?"

"I fought off the tears and got up so I could get to the door. Bailey lied. It wasn't there."

"She's sneaky, that's for sure." Callie kissed the top of Arizona's head. "So, you fell and then you got back up?"

"I did," Arizona acknowledged with a smile on her lips.

"You're awesome." Arizona could just hear the smile in her wife's voice.

Arizona's smile broadened. "I am."

They both just laughed as they snuggled together on the couch.

TBC….


	14. Epilogue – The View From Up Here

**The 502 Stories**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N:** And this is it. This story took way longer to write than I thought, but I'm glad I got a chance to play around with their recovery and do it the way I wanted. And to write something that was a little less dark than some of my other stories while still being true to the struggles they needed to have. I'm glad I got a chance to share it with all of you and that I had so many people reading. Thanks for taking this ride with me. It's been a blast.

This takes place just after they rename the hospital, so it's the spring, but a little early on. And it's an epilogue, so it gets to break some of the rules, like taking place outside instead of in the apartment.

* * *

**Epilogue – The View From Up Here**

Arizona looked up the green hill at the scattered tombstones leading up to the top, where a single large maple tree stood sentinel over the final resting places of those buried at the Cascades Cemetery. She found it sadly ironic that Mark and Lexie had been laid to rest in a cemetery named for the mountains where they had crashed and Lexie had died, but then again maybe it was appropriate. That was where they were last together in life, so the fact that they were together in this cemetery for eternity somehow made their final journey back to one another complete.

"It's beautiful here," she noted as she smiled out from the passenger seat of their car at the peaceful landscape.

"Yeah, when we were looking for a plot, Meredith and I both thought this was the perfect spot. It's just gorgeous up there. It's clear enough today we'll be able to see Mount Ranier and the city." Callie turned the ignition of the car off and let out a deep breath. "How do you want to work this?"

Arizona looked into the backseat and smiled at Sofia, who was kicking at the back of Callie's car seat. "You get her. I think I can make it with the help of my cane. Just stay close, okay?"

"Of course."

Arizona got out of the car and pulled her cane from the backseat. She had long gotten good enough to walk on relatively flat surfaces without it, unless she was really tired or it was an incredibly long walk, but hills were another matter. She'd gone with her prosthetist to the park near the hospital a few times to start practicing and finding the best techniques to manage the incline, and she'd gotten decent at it, but the idea of losing her balance and tumbling down the hill was not one she wanted to experience. So, she took the cane in her right hand and took a deep breath before slowly starting her way up the hill.

Callie walked on her left side, her hand coming to Arizona's back anytime she seemed a little unsteady but then letting go when Arizona had regained her balance. Sofia slowly climbed up along with them on Callie's left, her little legs probably grateful that her mommies were moving slowly up the hill. Really it wasn't that bad, as long as Arizona went slowly and concentrated on each and every step. It took them far longer than it would have taken her before the amputation, of course, but really it went far better than she had feared.

And the slow pace had its advantages, too. Arizona had grown to appreciate the fact that her life now had to go a little slower. She found she wasn't missing things she had before, and today that meant seeing the butterflies dancing between the headstones and the way the puffy white clouds formed different shapes in the sky. She smiled as each breeze blew the dandelions, letting the mixture of yellow flowers and big puffy bulbs of seeds flutter between the headstones. She could notice the bird that flew over them and then landed in the maple tree, singing a song just as they were nearing the top. And luckily she was able to hear Sofia point to it and say "birdie", which was a totally new word for her. Arizona had little doubt that she would have missed most of that before the crash. So she filed that away as just another silver lining to what she had once thought would be a monstrous dark cloud over the rest of her life. That cloud had really turned out to be nothing more than a slightly dark nimbus, sometimes casting shadows but also bringing the rain that allowed the beautiful flowers and plants to grow.

Finally, they made it up to the top and Arizona let out a huge breath of relief. "Wasn't so bad."

"Going down will be harder," Callie reminded her.

"Killjoy," Arizona said to her wife with a playful smile on her face. She took one last breath and then looked around. "Where are they?"

Callie tilted her head over toward the maple tree. "Over there."

Arizona nodded and followed Callie the twenty feet or so until they stood in front of the headstone that marked the final resting place of Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey. Arizona looked down at the smooth reddish marble stone, with each of their names and the dates of their births and deaths on it separated by a caduceus, feeling tears start to leak out of the corner of her eyes. But it was the quote at the bottom that brought a lump to her throat. She read it aloud, her voice barely audible even to herself, "Nothing shall part us in our love." She swallowed hard and blinked as her eyes filled with tears. "It's beautiful," she said as she looked over at Callie.

Callie wrapped her arm around Arizona's waist and laid her head on her shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, it is."

"Mind if I have a minute alone?"

Callie shook her head. "Of course not. I've had my time here." She bent down and picked up Sofia. "Hey baby girl, let's go see if we can find some maple leaves, okay?" They went off around to the other side of the tree, Callie talking to their daughter about how if they found a good leaf they would take it home with them for some arts and crafts, her voice drifting off as they moved off around the trunk.

Arizona smiled after them before looking back down at the names and sighing heavily. "Sorry, I haven't been by before this. I wanted to be able to walk up here on my own and that takes time." She slowly lowered herself to sit down on the grass, tucking her right leg under her and extending her prosthetic to the side. "What shitty luck we all had, huh? Really no rhyme or reason about who died or lost a limb or only lost a shoe, but I guess that's the lesson out of this, or one of them at least. The stuff in life you can't control never makes sense, so you have to take control over what you can."

She picked a dandelion globe and looked at the fine white hairs of its seeds that pillowed out around it. "You can send a wish with one of these, you know? But I don't think the fact I wish this was all just a bad dream will come true. And now I don't know what to wish for, because everything else seems so trivial."

One tear slid down her cheek and she swiped it away. "I miss you, Mark. I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye to you, especially after I refused to do that out in the woods. I'm not so sure I should have made you fight so hard to live, but I hope you think it was worth it so you could see your friends one last time. I know Callie's grateful." She smiled then a little sadly. "I'm taking care of them the best I can, I promise. And we tell Sofia about her daddy all the time. She doesn't understand yet, but she will and she'll know how much you loved her. And I promise to tell her one day, when she's ready, about what we went through out there, about how hard you fought to live for her."

She leaned forward, using her right leg to get up high enough to place the dandelion on top of the gravestone. "You two can use the wish," she whispered before touching the cool stone affectionately. She then used it to help her back to her feet. Arizona took in a deep breath and looked around at the view. "You got a great spot here, you know. It's truly beautiful." Mount Ranier could be seen to the East while downtown Seattle was a little to the West. She squinted and smiled when she made out the hospital among the skyline. "So on clear days you two can see us. That's nice. It's good to know the hospital's new namesakes can watch over us." She then looked over at the tree and caught Callie's eye, giving her a nod and a smile.

Callie grabbed Sofia's hand and led the toddler back to Arizona. "We were blowing dandelions," Callie said.

Arizona smiled as she nodded toward the grave marker. "I thought about blowing it, but I figured I'd leave it for them to wish on."

Callie moved to stand behind Arizona, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm good. They're together and at peace, so that really helps."

They stood there for a few moments while Sofia played in the grass at their feet. Arizona thought about how lucky they were that Callie and Sofia weren't visiting her gravesite. Something quick and painless was what she had wished for when she was in the deepest depths of despair, but instead that wasn't her fate, and now she was eternally grateful. She leaned back into Callie and whispered something she had never told her wife before. "There were times I wished I had died, when it was really hard out there or those first few days and weeks after losing my leg."

She heard Callie swallow hard and then take a deep breath. "I'm sorry things were that bad. But I'm glad you made it through. So glad. I can't imagine coming up here, having to bring Sofia up here, to visit you."

Arizona nodded as she wrapped her own arms over Callie's and held her tight. "I can't imagine being up here alone and without you for so long. Promise me, we'll both live to be really old so that neither of us will have to wait too long until we're together again."

"I promise," Callie whispered before kissing her shoulder.

Arizona smiled and let out a sigh of relief as she finally relaxed back into Callie's arms. They stood there for a long time, just both silently supporting one another and lost in their own thoughts. Then, just as Arizona was going to suggest they leave, Sofia got up from the grass and went over to pick another of the dandelions that littered the ground. They both watched their daughter look at it and then walk over to the grave marker. The stone was about a foot taller than her and the toddler looked up at it before looking back at her mothers. "Up."

Callie started to move forward but Arizona stopped her. "Let me."

"You sure?"

"Very," Arizona answered with a smile and a nod. She went over to Sofia and bent over at her waist. "You want to put that up there with mine?"

Her big brown eyes blinked up at Arizona. "Up, pease."

Arizona smiled brightly at the good manners she showed. "Okay, since you asked so politely. Let's give this a shot, huh?" She had been practicing lifting heavier and heavier weights in therapy but hadn't really gotten to the point where she was ready to risk lifting Sofia even though she knew she could handle her weight. But she figured at least out here if they fell down, the soft grass would help break the fall, so maybe this was the perfect time. And she only needed to get her up about a foot off the ground, which wouldn't be too hard. She reached down and put her hands firmly around her daughter's waist. "Okay, then here we go. Up." She used her thighs to take some of the strain off her back as she straightened up enough to get Sofia to a point where the little girl could gently place her dandelion down next to the one Arizona had laid there earlier. She didn't wait any longer before leaning back down to place her on the ground.

"Pretty," Sofia said then as she smiled up at her work.

"Yes, it is," Callie said as she came up behind Arizona and rubbed up and down her back. "You've been holding out on me."

"I've been practicing with the medicine ball at therapy. Good thing she doesn't weigh that much." Arizona smiled as she felt some pride rise in her. "I can do almost anything with enough practice, right?"

"Definitely. Now, what do you say we go get some lunch and then go to you know where so Sofia can you know what."

Arizona laughed at Callie's attempts to keep things from their all-too-smart daughter. She'd long since learned words such as park and playground and even somehow often caught on to their attempts to spell them out. She had the sneaking suspicion that Sofia would turn out to be way too smart for her own good. "I think that sounds like a great idea. We could get something and take it to the you know where."

"We could."

Arizona ruffled Sofia's hair and then gave the grave marker for her two friends one last look before turning to look back down the hill toward their car. She hadn't realized how steep it was as she'd walked up it. "Make sure she stays off to the side. I'm likely to go down hard."

"You'll be fine. You can do anything, remember?"

Arizona took a deep breath and stood up a little straighter. "I can. But I'm also human and sometimes I fall down. That's okay as long as I don't take her with me. Come on, let's go."

They slowly made it down the hill, taking even longer to descend than it had taken to get to the top. Arizona had to really concentrate and use her cane to brace herself with every step, but she made it without any falls and never even needed Callie's help. When she finally got onto level ground, she couldn't help but shine a huge smile at her wife. "I did it."

"Told you so," Callie said with a wink.

Arizona went over and took Sofia's hand. "I'll drive," she told Callie as she led Sofia around to the driver's side. She felt emboldened about having lifted her on the hill and so knew she could get her up into her car seat. She was able to do it in two motions, first lifting the toddler to the running board and then with a second effort up into the seat. She strapped her in and then leaned in to give her a quick kiss before standing up and looking over the car to Callie. "Keys?"

Callie smiled at her for a moment before tossing them to her over the car. Arizona went to catch them but missed. "Well, you can't blame the fact you could never catch on your leg," Callie said with a chuckle.

Arizona laughed loudly. "No, that's just my complete lack of coordination when it comes to sports." She leaned over and got the keys off the asphalt before climbing into the driver's seat. She'd driven a few times since the accident, but always when she was alone. This was the first time she'd taken over driving duties from Callie since beginning her recovery. When Callie was in and belted, she looked over and lifted her eyebrow, "So, ready?"

Her wife leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss before smiling against her lips and whispering, "Always."

Arizona leaned in and smiled against Callie's lips as she gave her wife another kiss. She pulled away and took a moment to just stare into the deep brown eyes she so adored, finding a peace and strength in the loving certainty they seemed to always show her. _We made it. Somehow, we did, and now it's just time to get on with life. A life with Callie and Sofia. _ _That's all I've ever wanted and now I get to have it. _She turned the key in the ignition and smiled broadly. "Let's get out of here then."

~THE END~

Thanks again guys…now back to your regularly scheduled dark and serious with eventual happiness AmboDriver.


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